A Beautiful Future
by thatwomanlisa
Summary: After the final showdown, Vash is left with a difficult task in his brother. Seperated by fate and time, can Meryl keep her place in his heart? What will Vash do with Knives? VashxMeryl and introducing KnivesxMarianne!
1. The Things I Used To Do

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

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Chapter One: _The Things I Used To Do_

My name isn't important. Neither is my past. The only thing that matters anymore is the future….and what a beautiful future it will be… Oh Rem, I hope you like it, I hope it's everything you wanted…

* * *

The suns were shining on the hot desert sand and the man was sweating profusely under their heat. Or, maybe it was the heat from his black body suit, which practically covered every inch of his flesh, or perhaps the red coat he wore over his suit. But then again, it might also be the fact that he had the body of a man his size flung over his shoulder. 

"Ugh! I hate the sand!" the man whined as he trudged on. "It's all dry and such a pain to walk on! Every time I take a step it shifts and settles under my boot and – ugh I hate it!" He stumbled a bit and shifted the weight of the body from one shoulder to the other with a grunt and a heavy sigh.  
"Oh, and you're heavy too! I mean, what have you been eating? Those evil pills must be made out of bricks! Aww man! Why does this stuff always happen to me?"

The man chattered on, as though the body he carried was conscious or in the slightest bit aware of his complaints. _Geez, how many more iles do I have to walk with him? _He squinted into the horizon searching for a city, or town or anything where he could lay his heavy load down. _Man! I don't remember it being this far out here!_ He sighed._ But it's worth it; we're getting a fresh start Knives…._

* * *

Iles away, a typewriter rang out in the early morning silence… 

The city wasn't exactly flourishing, but it wasn't wasting away either. It had only one hotel, and the only sounds of life were resonating from this facility. The hotel was small and it had two floors, the first acted as a sort of restaurant/saloon while the second consisted of bedrooms. From the first bedroom left of the staircase two women were beginning their morning routine. The taller woman was absorbed in her coffee and donuts, grinning madly in the direction of the typewriter. Its keys were being mercilessly pounded by the woman seated before it.

"Now Meryl, if you don't eat something you won't have any energy for the busy day we're gonna have, and when we do find Mr. Vash you'll be too tired to give him the talking to that he deserves." The taller woman's high pitched voice blended well with the typewriter rings.

The woman seated at the keyboard glanced up. It was unlike Meryl Stryfe to abandon her breakfast, but, the report would be late if she didn't finish it soon and Meryl was nothing if not punctual.

"Millie, breakfast can wait, this report has to be finished today. Besides, it's not like breakfast is going to grow legs and walk away." The small woman raked her fingers through her short black hair for a moment and reflected on her report;

…Meryl Stryfe, reporting on our ongoing status control of one; Vash the Stampede, also referred to as The Humanoid Typhoon. My partner and I have lost contact with the target as of 5 days ago. We have general ideas of his current whereabouts, but we have not gathered decisive evidence at this point. This is the 2nd town we have visited and we are scheduled to move on tomorrow…

She sighed heavily. _What's the point? He's not going to be there either… Oh Vash, I'm sorry things had to be this way. Please, let me find you! Please!_

"Alright Sempai, finished?" the chirpy voice of her co-worker broke through her thoughts.

"Almost," she smiled in return. "There isn't a lot to say this time around, I guess."

"We'll find him Meryl. Or, he'll find us. It always works out that way."

"I hope you're right Millie, I really hope you're right." Meryl had to laugh to keep her tears from showing.

* * *

Thud! The body dropped onto the sand lifeless and heavy. The tall man who dropped it breathed in deeply. His obvious exhaustion made him a little careless with the body of his twin. His aqua eyes squinted about him. It was so quiet. But, back to business, Vash the Stampede had paused to drink what was left of the small satchel of water he had managed to keep hole-free during his shoot out with his brother. He sighed. _Well Knives, here we are._ He looked up at a massive ship, a preserved memorial to lost technology hanging partially in the sky, but also partially crashed into the desert. _When we came here all those years ago, it was I who waited for you, but this time we're both going in. _Vash again picked up his brother's body and headed toward the ship._ Forgive me Meryl, forgive me for abandoning you. _

_Perhaps someday, someday I can make it up to you. _

**To be continued...**

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I hope you like this first chapter let me know what I need to do to make it better. 


	2. The Wages Of Sin

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

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Chapter Two: _The Wages of Sin_

There are times when I feel weak, times when I know that my strength just isn't enough. I can't rely on my past, and there are times when the present can't help me either. Anger is such a powerful force, can it be enough to strengthen someone in their time of need?­­­­­­­­­ My brother has hurt so many people, killed so many people…how many have suffered because he felt angry, weak and hurt? What can I say to him now, what can I do now to make it alright?

* * *

Some might find it surprising that two women could make enough noise to compete with a small army but, for Meryl Stryfe and Millie Thompson, it was an easy accomplishment. There they were, riding along in the desert. Milly giggled while her long hair bounced with the rhythm of her thomas' trot, but Meryl felt irritable as usual. She'd been riding a stupid, smelly thomas for hours now and the bumpy ride was killing her legs. If it weren't for her cheery co-worker she might have been more tempted to throw in the towel, go back to the last town and stay there forever. But, Millie was optimistic. For the past hour or so she had been singing to herself, despite Meryl's complaints and had been making up rhymes and limericks about pudding. Finally, her attention turned to the matter at hand, finding their friend. 

"You know Meryl, I bet, when we do find Mr. Vash he'll sure be glad to see us," She chirped. "He always seems to be so happy whenever we're around."

"Humph!" Meryl shook her head and brushed a loose tendril of her short raven hair behind her ear. "More like he'll be breaking something and he'll be glad to have someone picking up after him!"

"Oh, now that's no way to think about it! Admit it, you're worried about him!"

"NO I AM NOT! That annoying, womanizing pig doesn't deserve to have me worried about him!" Meryl's voice rose with every word. "I mean, why would I care about that disgusting pervert? Don't forget Millie, he dumped us without even a proper goodbye, or a decent itinerary regarding his future whereabouts! Not to mention the fact that he went away to fight an incredibly dangerous nutcase who obviously lacks a lot in the morals department!"

"You are concerned Meryl… because he's our friend." Millie offered. "Besides, I don't think he could help it, you know, he didn't have much choice in leaving us, did he Meryl? He's the only one who could have handled a fight with Knives, right? So he had to go, otherwise even more people would have died."

"Why do you always have to be right all the time Millie? I guess he couldn't help it. So he's our friend huh?" Meryl stammered._ Is he my friend? How can that be? _

"Sure he's our friend Meryl. He's a little silly, but he's got a good heart and you know it."

"Yes, I guess that's true." Meryl was surprised that she was agreeing.

"Meryl! Look! It's a town!" Millie was beaming.

"Oh thank god! I was worried that we'd have to spend the night out in the middle of nowhere." For the first time since they parted company with Vash the Stampede, Meryl smiled and truly meant it.

* * *

The room was dimly lit; a soft glow was coming from a large bulb-like sphere at one end. On the other end, the shapes of two men could be seen, one laying flat on his back on what seemed to be a table and the second standing near the glowing bulb. The standing man raked his fingers through his light hair and sighed heavily. His red coat had been dropped on the floor beside him and Vash the Stampede was preparing himself for the experience of his life. He took steps towards the man on the table and stopped near him. _I have to understand Knives; I need to know why you lost all reasoning. I want to know what went on in your mind. Forgive me for invading your privacy, but if I'm going to help…_

Vash closed his eyes tightly, concentrating was always difficult and if he were honest he would have to admit he didn't like to do it often. When he lived among the humans, he didn't have to focus like this. _The damage is too extensive. _He thought bitterly as he surveyed his brother's body. _Internal bleeding, broken bones, and the worst part is the depletion of energy._ _I can't probe his mind until he's healthier. But_ _he just can't heal himself; I'll have to do it myself. _During his walk to the ship, Vash had been debating with himself on how much he actually wanted to do this._ Would anyone blame me if I left him here to die? Yes. Oh Rem, why is it always hard to do the right thing? _Vash straightened himself up and frowned at the table before him. Laying his hands on his brother, Vash began the healing. The soft glow from the bulb was soon over powered by the glow between the brothers. Vash lost complete track of time while he worked on his brothers wounds. Finally, when he was so exhausted that he had to rest before he could do anymore; Vash fell in a heap on the floor beside his still unconscious brother.

Vash dreamt of the past. Rem. She was standing there smiling at him, telling him he was too serious. She laughed and again reminded him of his responsibility to his brother.

"But Rem, he tried to kill me. He hates me."

"Vash, he doesn't you! Brothers don't ever really hate, sometimes they just don't understand. You have to help him Vash, help him to love you again."

Rem faded before Vash could argue her point. Another dream crept into his mind. Meryl. She was tapping her foot impatiently, her hands were on her hips and she was scowling at him.

"Vash, I'm not getting any younger here! Are you going to keep me waiting forever?"

"No, but I have to help Knives, his sins are heavy. I need to help him sort it all out and – "

"Then hurry up! I don't want to have to rack my brain in order to remember your face!"

"Meryl, I love you."

She smiled and faded away.

Some time later, he wasn't sure when, Vash awoke to the gloomy silence of the room. He got to his feet in an instant and turned to the table. It was a relief to see his brother there, breathing steadily and still unconscious. Vash grimaced at the thought of his emanate chore.

"I'm coming Knives, you'd better prepare yourself." He muttered.

* * *

**To be continued...

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**Alright, what do you think? 


	3. Look What A Seed Will Grow

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

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Chapter Three: _Look what a seed will grow…_

A childhood spent in tyranny and pain can become a lethal poison to the adult. I stepped into his mind, and on that hallowed ground I saw the monsters of a past I never knew. The secrets he carried with him weighed him down, the child inside of him still cried in pain. Somehow even the closest brothers never knew each other. To sort it out, to straighten out that pain… God help me.

* * *

"Knives! How many times have I told you to shut up!" a voice bellowed and a burst of intense light few into the room. "You little shit! You think you're so smart! But you're a monster! You're disgusting! You're not even human! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

Vash shuttered at the sound and winced as he tried to adjust his eyes to the new brightness of the room. He adjusted in time to see a child, blonde and adorned in a blue suit, being beaten mercilessly by a taller man. Vash stared. He knew the man. He knew the room_. Project Seeds? Steve?_

The child was crying. The man straightened himself from his labors over the sobbing child. He sniffed the air in disgust. "You really are worthless, you little monster. Rem doesn't love you; she's just having pity on you. No one really loves you."

He turned on his heel and promptly left the child in a heap of tears on the floor.

_I had almost forgotten about that._ Vash watched his brother. _He hated us so much._ _How many years did we allow him to hurt us like that? _

The child sat up and looked around himself. He shook his head and wiped his tears. He stood on shaking feet and clenched his small fists.

"**You're** the one who's disgusting!" the boy retaliated against the silence of the room. "You're mean! You're stupid! **Rem** does love me!"

If it were possible, Vash would have reached out and hugged this memory of his brother's past. Of course, invading his mind like this, Knives would have hated Vash if had detected him, but being comatose, he obviously didn't.

The young man was inspecting himself for injuries when the doors parted again and his twin entered the room.

"Hiya! Hey Knives, where were you? Rem and I waited for a long time and she told me all about these flowers called orchids, they don't have a smell, but they're really, really pretty and they come in all these colors and –" he stopped short. "Hey, what's the matter brother?"

"Nothing. Go on. What about orchids?"

"Oh, well Rem really likes them and they're hard to take care of and…."

The memory faded.

Vash shivered. _How long did that go on? How long did I act so carelessly in front of him? __I wasn't there for him. He was being beaten, abused, and I didn't even notice. I was too absorbed in Rem! I was to excited too notice the suffering of my own brother_! He stifled a sob.

A fresh memory began to grow out of the darkness. _I know this place too_! Vash smiled up at the sky so blue and the soft, sweet smelling green grass below his feet. A large tree provided shade from the sun and the twins were stretched out under it, listening to a woman speak softly to them. Rem. Vash ran towards her before remembering that she could not see him. He smiled at her. She was describing Earth again. _Why are you remembering this Knives?_

"I wish I could take you there boys! You'd love it there! The birds sing so beautifully and we could have picnics everyday!" Rem was gushing again.

"I want to go there Rem! If you're going." a small Vash was agreeing with her.

"I don't." Knives interjected.

"Why would you say that Knives?" she questioned him.

Before an answer could be given the door opened and a woman entered the wilderness sanctuary.

"Rem, we need you on the bridge." She smiled.

"I'll be right there!" Rem smiled and turned back to the boys, "Alright guys, I'll see you this evening for dinner. Knives, you shouldn't say things like that, we'll talk more about that later. Vash, make sure you boys have washed yours hands after being in here." She smiled again and was gone.

"Bye Rem!" Young Vash was waving his hand like a lunatic.

"She can't hear you. She's gone." His brother reminded him.

"That doesn't matter! I'm still gonna say goodbye."

"I'm leaving. Are you coming with me?"

"No, I think I'll stay a little longer."

Knives got to his feet and brushed the dirty off of his pants. "Fine. See ya." He called over his shoulder.

Vash watched as his little self barely acknowledged his brother's departing. With a sigh, he followed his child brother pass through the doors and onto the ship. Knives returned to their bedroom and sat on his bed.

"Rem didn't even stay long enough to hear me out." He was frowning. "Maybe she really doesn't love me. Maybe I am a monster." He got to his feet and began to pace.

"Steve is so mean. Rem doesn't listen. They can't be average humans? Can they?" He stopped in his tracks. "If this is what humans are really like, than I don't like them! No, I hate them! My silly brother doesn't even notice it! I can't see why he loves them so much! Why doesn't he love **me **like he loves them? **I **am his family! **I am his brother**!" the boy began to cry. "Why doesn't he love me?"

The memory faded.

_Knives. I do love you. I love you more than Rem. Didn't you know? Was I that bad at showing you? Did I drive you to hating them? Forgive me Knives. I'm a terrible brother, oh Knives! I need you to forgive me! Please!_ Vash cried now, his tears fell on the body of his brother and his body shook from the force of his sorrows.

* * *

Meryl awoke with a start. "VASH!" she sobbed while attempting to catch her breath.

"Oh Vash." She whispered into the empty room.

"Where are you?"

**To be continued…

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**

I've always felt sympathetic to poor Knives. I gotta say, it was the evil humans that made him do it.


	4. The Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

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Chapter Four: _The Heart_

Death destroys more than the one that dies. How can it be possible to know the extent of the damage? She cried when I wasn't looking. I never saw her tears, but I knew they were falling. Pride kept her from showing the real pain and pride kept me from asking.

* * *

Meryl stared at the frame above her head. _This is ridiculous. Why am I thinking about him?_Creeeek! The occupant of the bed above her tossed shaking the bed she laid on. _Ugh._ _What time is it anyways? Three o'clock in the morning? Four?_ She rolled over on her side. _First a stupid sand storm and now bunk beds! _The bed above her creaked and squealed with the weight of its contents. 

"That's it!" she growled and pulled a pillow over her head.

_I am never sharing a bunk bed with her again! _Meryl rolled back to the other side of her body and faced the wall that the beds were against. _I mean, how will I have any energy tomorrow if I'm not rested tonight?_ She tossed the pillow onto the floor. _Why is she tossing and turning so much anyways? It's not like she's had anything to worry about._ _Vash didn't unburden his past on her and then take off. She didn't see him broken down and sobbing on her. _She sighed. _Plus this sand storm is so loud. How can she sleep? What makes - _

"Mr. Priest? Nick? Nicolas!" the bed above her shook violently and her partner's voice called out from its rest into the night. Meryl froze. _Nicolas?_ Wolfwood. _She must miss him so much_. But Meryl knew it was more than just missing him. _Who am I kidding?_ _He's never coming back. Her pain is much more severe than mine is. I'm sure Vash isn't dead. I know it! I'm going to see him again; I'm going to see him soon. But Millie…_

"Nick! NO!" a sob came from the bed above her and Meryl sat up quickly, banging her head against the frame of the beds. She lost her balance and crumpled in a heap on the floor.

"Ouch!"

"mhhmm?" a sleepy sounding Millie awoke from her tragic dream. "Meryl? What are you doing on the floor?"

"I fell out of my bed because you were moving it around so much!" Meryl realized too late that her response was too harsh. Her friend might be hurt by her choice of words.

"Oh really Meryl?" the hurt was obvious in Millie's voice. "Gosh I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it Millie. It's not a big deal." Meryl attempted to sound cheerier than she actually felt. Her response was too fake.

"You should get back into bed; it won't be comfortable to sleep on the floor. I'll be much more careful about moving."

"Millie, I'd rather talk."

"About what Meryl?"

"About you Millie. I'd rather talk about you…. I haven't been very kind to you. I just now put some thought into what your heart must be going through. Mr. Wolfwood was murdered and then Vash left so promptly – and you knew I needed to be with him so you acted well enough to leave. Millie, you weren't even allowed some down time to grieve. We should have stayed in Tonim Town a little while longer. If we had, Vash would never have had to suffer and you would have been able to heal. I'm sorry Millie. You'll never see him again and I didn't even let you say a decent 'goodbye'. I'm sorry I have been so unfeeling."

Silence filled the room.

Meryl swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. _Stupid. That was stupid. Why did I say anything at all? _Suddenly her partner spoke softly and quickly.

"Meryl. It's alright. I'm ok and he's ok. We're just going through life, you see? These things happen. But don't worry Meryl. It's not so bad to be me right now. I mean, sure, I wish I could see him right now, but I believe someday I will. You know, it's easier for me to live that way. Yes, my heart is really broken, I admit that. But time is flying by me, and it won't be that much longer before I'll see him, flying through the sky to me, he'll laugh, like he always does and he'll take me to a place where I will never feel my heart break down again. So, I'm waiting until then. I don't want to talk about this again, so go to sleep. We've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

Meryl nodded into the darkness. Said a soft goodnight and crawled back into the bed. Moments later, when she was awoken again by the frantic movement above her, Meryl smiled and tucked herself in tighter. Strangely, it didn't bother her.

* * *

"Open your eyes Vash." A voice spoke softly in his ears. "Hurry up! Wake up! It's time to keep going! I'm so proud of you! Don't forget to take care of Knives." 

"Huh? What the?" Vash sat up blinking. _Where am I?_ He glanced around the room and saw his brother still unconscious on the table before him. _Where did that voice come from? _The room seemed lighter than it had been the day before. Or, was it the day before that? Vash frowned. _I've lost complete track of time. How long have I been here?_ He slowly got to his feet. The recent experience in his brothers' mind had left his exhausted. _I just want to sleep_. He stood for a moment as if trying to decide what needed to be done next. _What do I do now Rem? No. Knives. What do you want me to do now?_

**To be continued…

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**

Goodness, I'm beginning to feel nervous about living up to everyone's expectations. Here's hoping you don't think this part sucks. Ohhh the pressure!


	5. Indignation

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Five: Indignation 

Family is more important than anything else under the sky. My brother needed me. But I never knew he needed me like he did. I never knew that so much of his heart depended on me. We make our lifestyle decisions at such a young age, I didn't understand then. If I start over will it change him? Can a heart change overnight? Can I start over?

* * *

The once dark room was now brightly illuminated by the bulb at one end. Despite the cheery, energetic light, the two men were motionless and silent. The first man stood erect over the second man, who lay flat upon a table. The man lying moved his head slightly. The man standing winced. _It's getting risky to enter his mind, he'll wake up soon. But if I don't, if I don't learn more, I might miss something important. Forgive the intrusion Knives, but I'm coming in again._ Placing his hands on his brother's body, Vash the Stampede closed his eyes tightly. 

Moments later Vash recognized the room he stood in. The dead body on the table that was slowly dripping blood onto the floor was the last living Severem, the last family member of Rem's. Vash shuttered at his brother seated comfortably beside it. _I'm beginning to see now Knives, you didn't want anything to come between us, but you were going about it the wrong way._ The door opened and Vash drew a quick breath as he stared at himself in his brother's memory. _I remember this like it was yesterday._ He watched the memory he knew so well replay itself. He heard the harsh words, the guns firing and saw his arm. He lifted his arm toward his brother.

"Are you pointing that at me?" Knives was screaming.

Vash closed his eyes at the sound of his own terrorized screams. _In spite of everything, in spite of his torturous childhood, I just can't stand to watch him like this._ The light was blinding. Vash felt the room evaporating into thin air around him. He opened his eyes again. Even now as merely an observer of the destruction, Vash cried. He saw himself fall, and his brother. _Knives!_ It was a direct hit in the chest, anyone else would have died from such a blow but Vash witnessed his brother crumbling on the broken floor, alive, but damaged beyond anything he'd ever seen.

Vash turned to look at the preserved image of the Vash in his brothers' mind. He watched himself struggle to stand, struggle to walk. It was then that he realized how very little he had cared for Knives. _I was so selfish, pulling myself together and not even checking to see if he was alive!_ Vash turned away from his image and back to the mess of Knives that lay bleeding and dying in the disaster. _Knives? _

"_Are you just going to leave me like this?" _a small voice whispered from the rubble.

Knives was trying to call his brother. Vash looked for himself but he had walked too far away.

"Wait!" Vash shouted for himself. "You can't just leave him here? You can't! He'll suffer if you leave him like this!"

­

* * *

The memory faded and Vash found himself sobbing onto his brothers' body once again. _Knives. I didn't know, I swear I didn't! I didn't think!_

Knives body stirred and Vash was on his feet in an instant.

_Are you going to kill me?_ Knives voice rang clear in Vash's mind.

"Oh, you're awake now huh?" Vash grinned down at his brother.

_Are you going to kill me? _Knives repeated.

"No Knives. I'm not going to kill you." Vash said.

The man lying moved his head again.

_Why are you healing me? Is it so that we can fight again then?_

"No, you've got it all wrong. We're never going to fight again."

The man lying opened his eyes in a flash, revealing an icy blue glare. _What do you mean we're not going to fight again?_ "Will you join me in a little, extermination then?" the lying man's voice softly filled the room.

"No Knives. We're not going to kill anyone. There's another way."

"HA!" the lying man laughed cruelly. "There's another way? You are all excuses Vash. They make me ill. I really thought by now you'd see your brother's point of view."

Vash smiled slowly. "Actually Knives, I do understand your point of view. More than you know. I agree that humans can be pretty evil."

Knives stared at his brother. "What does that mean? Is this a game? From you? I didn't think you were capable of thinking independently."

"You would think that, wouldn't you Knives? Games? Nope. I really couldn't be more sincere." Vash stepped forward and seated himself on the table where his brother helplessly lay. "You see Knives, I don't think I ever really took the time to relate to you, when we were growing up."

Knives continued to stare.

"I admit I was wrapped up in Rem, in humans and most importantly, in love and peace." Vash continued.

"Well?" His brother responded.

"Well, I'm sorry." Vash blinked at his brother.

"You're sorry?" Knives laughed. "Don't you think it's too late for that?" Knives attempted to lift his head but it was obvious that he had the strength of a newborn. "If I had my strength I'd kill you right now dear brother. Now, don't look at me like that! It would be for your own good. I would never want you to be unhappy and I know how silly you can be about revenge."

"Revenge?"

"Yes, these parasites have sucked the life out of us; they are evil Vash. They drove us apart, they ruined my life! I don't see why you can't see that?"

Vash stood up slowly. "I do see that Knives, I know what they did to you and to me. But is it revenge you want, really?"

"Of course, they're wasting the oxygen that we can use." Knives smiled up at his brother.

"Knives, I'm sorry that they hurt you. But I was hurt too. Now listen to me, because this is the only time I'm going to say this; you're going to stay with me. I'm not leaving you, I'm not fighting you and I'm not going to kill you. But instead, I'm going to stay with you, I'm going to help you and I'm going to love you like a brother loves a brother, like I should have from the very beginning."

Silence filled the room.

Knives looked at his brother.

"I see."

**To be continued…

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**

Alrighty chapter 5 and so far everyone seems to be in one piece. Let's see how long that lasts…hehe….


	6. Progress

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Six:_ Progress_

They say the darkest hour is just before dawn. I had found him in the darkness. I had found him surrounded by the shadows of hate; the sunshine of love and peace were beyond his reach. When someone has abandoned hope, how can you make them see that the shadows prove the sunshine?

* * *

Two men stood side by side in the sunlight. It was obvious that the twins had been indoors for some time based on their reaction to the light. 

"Oh woah, I can't see a thing!" The man laughed and ran his fingers through his golden blonde hair. "It's really bright out here!"

"What are we doing Vash?" the second man frowned at his companion. "Are you planning on letting us stumble blindly around in the desert?"

"Heck no! We're going back into civilization Knives. I'm taking you to meet my friends."

"That's amazing. There are still humans that are willing to call you 'friend'?" Knives shot back angrily.

_Yea, there's still a few alive that you didn't kill_. Vash thought to himself.

"What was that?" Knives growled at his brother.

"Oh? Huh? I didn't say anything!" Vash shrugged with a grin. "Look, there are these nice insurance girls, er, at least they were insurance girls when I last saw them. I actually have no idea what they've been up to since I've been gone. Hey, Knives, how long do you suppose we were in there?"

"The last time we fought I was alot worse off.I spent 100 years recovering from the wounds _you_ inflicted on me." Knives spouted irritably.

Vash laughed a little and with an apologetic smile said "Well, you made me do it, remember? I'm sure we couldn'thave been in there for more than a few months. At least, I hope not. If we were I'll have a lot of explaining to do when we get to our destination." Vash turned to his brother. "Now let's review, if you're feeling angry or frustrated, what have we agreed on?"

"I come and kick your ass before I go on a killing spree?" Knives smiled at his brother.

"You're not making this any easier." Vash sighed.

"I agreed to talk things over before I take action; and I will do that I agreed upon. However, I have not agreed that I will never kill again, dear brother. Don't forget that."

"Oh, I haven't forgotten that." Vash looked towards the horizon. _But, I'm hoping you'll agree to it eventually, if you only knew how wonderful some people can be. How kind they can be. How sweet she can be…_

_I can read your thoughts Vash. Are they always this disgusting? Tell me, have you found yourself another Rem?_

"Something like that." Vash gave his melancholy smile to his brother. "Let's hit the sand. I'll explain as I go, you've missed out on a lot of my life brother. I think you should hear about it, because I'm going to ask you to be a part of it all."

* * *

Dust and sand kicked up over the porch of the house. A few soft lights came through the windows and at the threshold of the door a tall woman stood in overalls and a hard hat. She stretched out her arms and with a sigh, tossed her had onto the chair as she closed the door behind her. Her loud, high-pitched voice called out into the evening's dusk. 

"Meryl! I sure hope dinner's ready!"

"Don't worry, it is!" came the response, as a petite woman in an apron entered the room. "I made some sandwiches, and we have your favorite pudding for dessert. Oh, and I figured we could play a game of cards tonight."

"If you want to, we can. Just as long as I can have something to eat, I'm starving Meryl."

"Well, it's not like I didn't pack you a big lunch, good grief! When did your appetite develop into that of a growing boy?" Meryl smirked at her friend.

"Since we came back here and I started working so hard I guess!" Milly smiled bashfully.

"Alright, well, wash those hands and we'll eat." Meryl smiled.

Returning to the kitchen while Milly was washing her hands, Meryl smiled to herself. _Coming back to Tonim Town was the best idea I've ever had. Milly seems a lot happier here_. Meryl thought while she putting the finishing touches on the sandwiches. _Hmm._ Meryl looked into the cabinet where she had placed the loaf of bread. _It's getting pretty bare in here. I guess I'll have to get a job to compensate for our expenses. _She sighed aloud. _Perhaps I shouldn't have quit the agency. If only I had explained the situation to them, the need to stay out here, even if I had a good idea that he wouldn't be hazardous anymore. I had to wait for him. _

"Ugh!" Meryl groaned as she sat down at the table across from Milly.

"What's wrong?" Milly's genuine concern shown through in her expression.

"I'll tell you what's wrong. It's been three months since we came back here! I haven't done anything but worry and fret over that bigspikeyhairedmoron and I'm being perfectly worthless! I mean, I quit my job to search for him, and here I am. Sitting here! And you, poor Milly are out working every day while I sit around! This is terrible! I never thought it would come to this! I always thought he'd come back soon and –"

"And what Meryl?" Milly picked up her friends train of thought. "What were you thinking would happen?"

"I don't really know." Meryl frowned.

"I think you do know."

"What? I do know?"

"Uh huh. Meryl, you really can be silly sometimes. Don't you remember what my Big, big sister always says about following your heart? Sure, things are kinda hard right now, but you've got to stay optimistic right? Keep your chin up and keep smiling. He'll know where we are and he'll come back. Don't' you remember what you said when we came here? That he wouldn't keep you waiting? And he won't. I know it."

"Right." Meryl smiled across the table. "You're right.

**To be continued...

* * *

**

Dang! All these compliments! I feel so much pressure! I hope I don't totally suck and make you all regret your reviews. Let me know what I can do to improve.


	7. This I Know

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Seven: _This I Know_

It's a strange thing, trusting someone for the first time. I've feared and hated the thought of my brother walking free in the streets with humans; but here I am, asking him to walk with me. Do I know what I'm getting myself into? Or will I be sorely mistaken in my trust?

* * *

Dust blew before the men as they entered the town, for years to come the townspeople would refer to their entrance as dramatic, and it was. A whirlwind flew in front of the men, rustling their hair and the grim look on their faces gave them the appearance of wild men who lived in the desert. The twins, both tall and blonde walked straight into the saloon, holding their heads up high, but anyone who would have recognized them would know that it was a façade. If anything, their intensity was just an attempt to look anything but parched.

The doors of the saloon sprung open easily before the twins. The first man grinned madly at the signs of life around him while his accomplice darkly glared at the barflies.

"Ah, civilization! This is much better! All that sand was makin' me nuts!" the first man laughed to his twin who merely walked to the bar with a brooding look. "Ho there friend!" he saluted a man who was watching him over his beer. "I must say, that looks exceptionally tasty!" He glanced towards the bar. The bartender, a woman in her late 50's with a large scar across her cheek, turned away from him, polishing a glass.

"Hey lady, how about a couple beers for me and my brother here?" he called out.

"Your brother huh?" the barmaid turned around again to examine the men.

"Yes ma'am! We've been walking for a very long time and we're really, really thirsty. Think you could help us out?" He smiled at her.

"Well sure I can, just as soon as you hand over your firearms. I won't have any drunken brawls here in my place. I keep things clean and you're gonna play by my rules or hit the road." She growled.

"Yes ma'am!" the man waved his arms and surrendered his weapon without a second thought.

The woman snatched the gun and looked at the second man with a piercing gaze. Turning to his brother, Vash the Stampede recognized the road block. He cleared his throat and prepared himself to do a little imploring.

_Come on Knives! Give me a break! I'm so cotton-mouth I could make a sweater! Please!_

_This is my gun Vash, and unlike you, I pride myself in it. I'm not going to simply allow some humans to smear their fingers all over it. As far as I'm concerned nothing is worth it. _Knives glared back at his brother.

"Trust me, this is." Vash smiled at his brother as he grabbed the gun in Knives holster. _You'll get it right back, and you'll feel tons better._

"Give that back to me!" Knives said with a shove at his brother.

Vash laughed nervously "Hey, as soon as you have your drink, I will!"

"Alright then boys, two beers, comin' right up." The woman behind the counter frowned at the men sitting at her bar_. There's somethin' creapy about them. _She thought to herself.

"ALRIGHT! Nourishment!" Vash cried between gulps of the ale. "Oh this is so hitting the spot!"

"Huh. Something like that." Knives stared down at the beverage in his mug.

Hours later, both Knives and Vash were throwing up fast and furious into a water trough for the thomas outside the saloon, guns firmly in their holsters.

"I just can't see how you like doing this to yourself Vash." Knives murmured as he wiped his face clean. _I should go in there and kill her for allowing us to drink that stuff._

_Hey! It wasn't her fault! We were the ones who drank it_! Vash grinned_. Besides, I think this is part of the fun,…I think…._

_More like this part you didn't think of. _Knives smirked back at his brother.

* * *

The next morning, with the sunlight injuring their red, bloodshot eyes, Vash and Knives debated their next move.

"Listen Vash, I don't want to meet your insurance girls. Now that we have this renewed relationship, I don't want anyone coming between us. These girls will be biased towards me Vash. They'll hate me before they even get to know me and they'll pull you away from me!" Knives growled.

"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong! They're really nice! They were the ones who encouraged me to come fight you in the first place!" Vash protested.

"My point exactly." Knives said with a frown. "Besides, you don't even know where they are! It's like looking for a grain of rice in the desert."

"Well, lucky for you, I can smell food anywhere. Come on. We'll take a sand steamer, it'll be lots faster and I promise, you'll like them, and they'll like you."

"Fine! If you insist on it, I'll do it, but if anything happens – "

"Nothing will happen. Trust me."

_Famous last words Vash. _Knives glared at his brother.

Vash got to his feet with a smile. "Okie dokie, it's settled then! You stay here and I'm gonna go get us some tickets, and some donuts!"

"Some what? Do-nots?"

"Oh wow. My poor brother, you really don't know what you've been missing." Vash smiled as he walked away.

* * *

Meryl Styfe looked out the window for the fifteenth time that hour. _Nothing. Damn. Where is that man? Vash! Hurry up! Come back to me quickly, before the years run out! I can't wait forever, and I'm getting so tired. Come back to me. I know you will. I know it._

**To be continued…

* * *

**

So, do you know what a phalange is? Well, the middle one, on my middle finger on my right hand is fractured. Every time I type anything, it shoots piercing pain up my hand and my eyes water. I think I need a nice, little comment on this post. It's much easier to type when I know my story is appreciated. Love me. Please love me.


	8. Neon Revisited

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Eight: _Neon Revisited_

He stood there and threatened me. He wanted us to die. I had no options but to fight him. If I hadn't taken a stand, people would have died. Considering his character, what can I do to stop him? Can I stop him?

* * *

The speed of the sand steamer caused quite a gust of air on the deck. It was evening and the stars were beginning to peek through the sunset. Two men stood with their backs against the railing speaking quietly to each other.

"…luckily for me, my wounds were already beginning to heal, so I had the strength to move quickly. When the rocks hit the deck I fired. It was just a matter of judging speed and projectiles."

"Vash. I'll never know why you do things like that. You might have been actually injured."

"You didn't see the little squirts face. I couldn't let him down. And for that matter, I really didn't feel like plummeting to my death." Vash grinned.

"I can understand saving yourself, but all that bratty kid. I can't see that."

"Well trust me, it was the right thing to do. I chose to forgive him Knives. No. More than that, I chose to risk myself for him. It was my way of forgiving him. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Of course. But that doesn't mean I agree with it." Knives looked at his brother.

"Well, if you were there, you would have understood. I was needed. It's nice to be needed. And the girls were there, you know, and they needed me too." Vash paused and smiled madly at the sky. "It's a whole new feeling to be needed by a woman."

"I'll take your word for it." Knives responded.

The two brothers stood in silence as they watched the sunset burn itself out. Darkness was setting in as Knives looked out into the evening sky.

"That's strange. What is it?" he frowned.

"Something's not right out there, huh?" Vash spoke into the night.

"That's right." He responded.

"I feel it too."

"What do you do now?"

"I wait for it to come."

"I see."

"Knives?"

"Yes?"

"You don't have anyone out there still waiting for me? Anyone you forgot about?"

"No Vash. There's no one left."

For a moment the twins simply looked into each others eyes. After a moment of silence Vash spoke again.

"Alright then. I guess we'll just have to wait for –"

A loud screeching sound filled the night. It sounded like a body made out of steel was being ripped, torn in two. Screams filled the air. Vash was running towards the sound when he noticed he was running alone.

"Knives! Aren't you coming?" He stopped and called over his shoulder.

"Why should I?" was the reply.

"Because people might be hurt! They might need our help!"

"It is not our place to help."

"We would want help if we were injured. Come on Knives! Something terrible must have happened. We can't just do nothing!"

Knives calmly walked to his brother. "Fine. We'll look into it. But don't expect heroics from me."

The twins began running towards the direction of the sound when its source revealed itself. Gun fire unloaded itself upon the deck. The brothers dropped onto the floor, avoiding injury. Masked men in large neon-lit suits spilled onto the deck. I_ know them! I know those suits! The Bad-lads! _

_You mean the fools from your story are here on this steamer?_

_It looks that way._

_Then our course of action would be to find the leader and rid the ship of him._

_Yea, I think so._

_Then let's get moving._

Knives was on his feet in a heartbeat. The Bad-lads who were on the deck opened fire, yelling to each other to shoot him. But Knives was too quick. _Come ON Vash! _He dodged the bullets as he made for the nearest door leading into the steamer.

_I can't believe I'm doing this.

* * *

_

The control room was silent as they watched, horror-stuck, the scene before them. The Captain was shaking before the gun which was only inches away from his face. The large, dark man holding the gun, threw back his head and laughed. "You actually expect me to believe that you don't have a safe on this steamer? Oh come on now, you need to be honest, or you will be dead. Which will it be?"

"Please! We're not an entertainment vessel! We don't have a casino or a shopping area! We're purely passengers! And we're usually employed by governments! What little we do have belongs to them!"

"What did I just tell you about lying?" The large man laughed before pulling the trigger to shoot his gun. An earsplitting sound filled the room and blood and brains splattered on the helmsmen. The man continued to laugh while the rest of the men in the room cried out in anguish, anger or fear.

"Fantastic! What courage! Really shiny! Simply amazing!" The man was still laughing.

* * *

The twins were in the hallway outside of the control room when the shot was fired. Knives stood still watching his brother tremble. Viewing the room before them, it was obvious that the Captain had at least an ounce of bravery. But as far as Knives was concerned, he had more than his fair share of stupidity as well.

_Why are you freaking out Vash? He should have been honest._

_Stealing is wrong. He is wrong!_

_What are you gonna do ab-_

Knives was cut short in his question as his brother shoved the door before him and entered the room. For a moment Knives considered following him, but something held him back. He walked up to the door and watched.

* * *

The large man turned around and a wide, frightening smile spread across his face.

"Well, what a surprise! If it isn't Vash the Stampede!"

"I wish I could say it's nice to see you again, but to be honest, it isn't, Brilliant Dynamite Neon."

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

Yee-haw! How about a little show-down? What do you think?


	9. Vengeance

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Nine: _Vengeance_

They say there's nothing closer than a brother. I've never been close to mine. If I've never known him as a friend, as a helping hand; can I trust him to help me now, to be my friend, my help, when I need him?

* * *

A series of gasps and mutterings came from the control room as the big man spoke the name of opponent. Knives peered into the room before him, the windowed porthole fogged as he breathed onto it. The control room was still dripping the blood of the Captain of the ship who had so bravely given his life when he refused to give up his vessels goods to the fluorescent thief. His brother Vash, stood before the chief of the bandits who was lit up with neon lights on his shoulders and gun. The man was laughing at Vash. _What an idiot. He looks ridiculous. _Knives squinted at his brother. _What exactly are you doing?_

_What exactly are **you** doing? _His brother's voice rang clear into his mind.

_Oh that should be obvious! I'm watching you._

_You should be helping me instead!_

_Helping you? You don't need help. Vash, why are you wasting time? You could have finished him before he started._

_Come on Knives I just can't sta_- Vash's voice was cut short because his adversary had begun what turned into quite the soliloquy.

"The last time I saw this man he was bleeding, wounded, betrayed and still he was actually attempting to talk me into a face off, with a steamer and all its contents as the prize." He paused while his minions laughed. He grinned at Vash before continuing. "He actually thought he could save an entire ship by fighting me. The funny thing is –" He paused again and looked around dramatically. "He actually beat me. That's right; this skinny, scrawny daredevil in a red coat beat me. And when he did, I promised him that if I ever saw him again, I wouldn't be so, charitable? Yes, I promised him his death. And what luck! Here he is, just the perfect surprise, too bad there isn't a silver platter to serve him up on!" The big man laughed again. "Shall we try our luck at a face off again, Vash the Stampede?"

"Sure. Why not? I beat you before; I think I can do it again." Vash's cool aqua eyes stared piercingly at Neon.

"Ooooh! That's just delicious! So serious, so – majestic! That's real sparkle boys, the real deal!"

Knives rolled his eyes impatiently. _Are you serious? You're actually going to entertain the idea of dueling him?_

_Yes._

_Why Vash? Are you really my brother? _Knives smirked.

Neon was eyeing Vash critically. "No, no, no. You look punier than when I saw you last, like you've been out of circulation or something?"

"Well, I've had some family business to attend to." Vash said evenly.

"Well what do you know, the Stampede has family!" Neon was laughing. "They aren't on the ship are they? That'd be an even better bargaining tool than a strange kid."

"As a matter of fact-" Vash paused, did he really want to bring Knives into this? "Your fight is with me, so, I guess we should get to it."

Neon gave his famous flashy smile. "Brilliant! Noble as expected. That's really nice. Let's go boys!" With a wave of his hand, he signaled that the face off would take place on the deck.

* * *

Knives debated his next choice for a moment. If he hid himself, he could observe the situation between this fool and his brother without being caught in the middle of it. _However, it's not in my nature to run and hide. Of course, Vash did go out of his way to not bring me into this._ That thought convinced him. Knives tucked behind the nearest door and watched the entourage pass him by. Giving them a head start advantage, he followed them cautiously until they stopped on the deck. Knives stared intently at his brother and the thief.

* * *

On the deck, the winds kicked up the red coat that should have lain peacefully around Vashs' legs. He took a quick survey of the situation. Neon stood in front of him, his henchmen formed a sort of large circle around them. Vash could also feel the presence of his brother on the deck. 

"Wanna count off, or just draw?" Neon shouted at Vash.

"It doesn't matter too much to me, remember, I'm the pacifist. I don't want to do this at all."

"Now that's not any good, there's no sparkle for the dead."

"Fine then, I say draw." Vash had an expression of seriousness in his voice.

The tension was thick on the deck. Neon's grin widened as he stared at Vash from across the deck. Vash waited, his aqua eyes meeting Neon's gaze. _Exactly why are you doing this brother?_

Suddenly the sounds of two shots were fired into the night. The guns had been drawn so quickly that the sound of their fire was noted before the movement of the men had been. One additional sound was made, it was a human calling out a name –

"Knives!"

* * *

Meryl Styfe flopped over onto her side. _Why can't I get to sleep?_ She stared at the ceiling in disgust. 

"Ugh!" she groaned with frustration and kicked off her covers. _What is wrong with me, why-?_

she stopped short. A feeling of panic and unrest rushed over her body. _Something is wrong! _

"What? What is that feeling?"

She was on her feet before another moment passed and across the room; she found a door and was pounding on it.

"Milly! Milly wake up! Milly!"

A sound came from the room beyond and after a moment of silence, it creaked open. A sleepy looking Milly stood looking down at her friend, more than confused.

"Well goodness Meryl, aren't you getting up a little too early, I mean, we only just went to bed a little bit ago and I-"

"Milly – listen to me, there's something bad happening; I think Vash is in trouble."

"Well, what can we do about it?" Milly mumbled.

"We need to go help him"

"Meryl, we don't even know where Mr. Vash is. Perhaps we should just give it a while, see what happens."

Milly yawned and stared blankly at her petite friend.

"I guess you're right, I just panicked. Silly of me, really, isn't it?" Meryl laughed nervously. "Go back to bed Milly, I'm sorry for waking you."

"Meryl, have some faith." Milly yawned again and closed the door.

Meryl turned back to her empty, silent bedroom. _Right. I just freaked out because, I'm being silly, nothing to worry about._ _I hope._

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

Well, whatd'ya think? -lisa


	10. Impass

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Ten:_ Impass_

A tortured mind is capable of horrible things, but so is an innocent one, I heard everything he had to say, and I knew he wasn't talking to me, but to himself. I can't touch his pain, but I can touch him.

* * *

The whirl of action on the deck was so rapid that for several moments the Bad-lads had no idea what they should do. Once their eyes adjusted to the movements and sounds they realized that the control of the situation was no longer in their leaders' hands.

Vash stood where he had before, breathing heavily whilehis gun lay on the deck several feet away from him. Neon was also where he had been before, his gun also several feet away. The one factor that changed the situation was that Neon was now on his knees because of the man who stood beside him, with a gun against his temple.

Vash stared at his brother. "Knives! What are you doing?"

"I don't understand brother, what are you doing playing with filth like this?" Knives growled.

"Put down that gun and we'll talk."

"He was going to shoot you Vash!" Knives screamed at his brother across the deck, a look of insanity in his eyes. "He was going to kill you. He was going to hurt you!" The gun in his hand began to shake as he kept speaking. "Brothers protect brothers, I – I can't let him do anything to you. I won't let any worthless, murderous creatures hurt my brother anymore. No one can hurt you! I won't just stand back! This is what I was talking about when I said they were evil. Humans are evil! But I won't let them hurt you. I won't because I - I'm your BROTHER!"

Vash dropped his jaw, horror-struck at the words of his brother. "Knives. Put the gun down. He wasn't going to hurt me. He wouldn't. It's just a game. There's nothing to be upset about. He hasn't hurt me. Don't kill him."

Knives jerked his head towards the man he held at gunpoint. "You were pretty stupid to try and do anything to him Steve. That's why you died. That's why they all died. I don't care about me, but if you even think about touching him – if you even THINK about it! I – I can read your thoughts you know, Steve. I know what's going on in your mind! I KNOW!"

"S- s-steve?" Neon's shaky voice spoke softly. He looked towards Vash. "Stampede, what's going on here?"

Vash started walking. "Knives, that's not Steve. That's someone else. Steve's dead, he died a long time ago, he hasn't hurt anyone in years." He stood a few feet away from his brother and the thief. "Knives, it's Vash, you're gonna make Rem sad if you pull that trigger."

"Rem! I hate her!" Knives cocked his gun and closed his eyes tightly.

"No! No, please Knives! It's me, Vash, you're gonna make ME sad. You said you'd spare the people I care about, and I care about him."

Knives opened his eyes and stared at his brother.

"Why?"

"Because he's alive, Knives. Because he deserves the chance to live, and it's not your right to take his life."

The Bad-lads held their breath as the man threatening their boss started to shake.

Vash reached out and put his arm around his brother.

The gun dropped.

* * *

The morning light shone through the window's curtains and alerted Meryl that the day had begun. She yawned and threw back the covers of her bed. For a moment she sat there, a little dazed from her practically sleepless night and her disturbing night tremors. _I know I wasn't imagining things, last night something bad happened and Vash might very well be injured. Or worse…_ But she didn't want to think about what could be worse. 

Meryl kicked her legs off the bed and let them dangle for a moment while she reviewed her options. With a sigh she got to her feet. _That's it. I don't know what else to do. _Shemoved quickly and went about addressing her freshening up needs. Minutes later she was packing. _This has got to be the stupidest thing I've ever done. No, on second thought, scratch that; meeting and falling for Vash has to top the list. I can't believe I'm doing this._

Meryl stopped momentarily in front of the hallway mirror before trying the door next to hers. _Well, I've looked better, I guess._ She sighed and reached for the doorknob beside her. Poking her head into the room she noted that Milly was still asleep. A slight smile crossed Meryl's lips as she whispered. "Goodbye my dear sweet friend." She dropped a note onto the nearby dresser and softly closed the door behind her. _I can't ask you to leave here, at least not until…until… I know…

* * *

_

Milly sat up and stretched. She blinked out the window at the blue sky and smiled._ It's so beautiful Mr. Priest. Nicolas. I'm sorry you can't be here to feel it, to see it, to hear it. I know how happy you'd be, I wish I could have told you in person._ She wrapped her arms around her waist and flopped back onto her bed. She giggled and spoke out loud. 

"I hope it's a boy, I know just what I'll name him, his name will be Nicolas just like yours!"

After her morning rituals, Milly stepped into her work pants and noticed the letter on her dresser.

_Dear Milly,_

_I'm sorry I did this in a letter. But I just couldn't bear to say goodbye in person, please don't think I'm a coward. I know this will sound a little crazy; it does to me even as I write it. But, I love Vash. I have to find him. I have to tell him. I don't know for sure where to look, but it's been months and I know that the more time I waste the worse the pain in my heart will grow. I promise that I'll come back when I find him. If my suspensions are correct you'll need some extra help and income in a few months anyways. I'm sorry my dear friend if you feel abandoned by me. I promise I won't be gone long, I have this feeling like my heart will just lead me in the right direction._

_I'll write._

_Much love,_

_Meryl_

Milly put the letter down.

"Well, it's about time." She smiled.

* * *

Oh no! It's another one of those "Milly''s Pregnant" fan fics! Sorry, but it had to be done. -lisa 


	11. The Test of Truth

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Eleven:_ Truth's Test_

Trust does indeed need to be earned. I was too hasty, and he snapped under the pressure I had laid on his shoulders. But there isn't time to test him now that she's back. How can I do with him? I need to be with her but can I trust him with her?

* * *

Meryl Styfe was not the sort of women who could easily 'blend in' with the crowd. Her petite frame, for one, among all the men surrounding her, made her stick out like a sore thumb. But, she had to wait, like everyone else, in order to send her telegram back to Tomin Town. She sighed and raked her hands through her dark, shiny hair. _Ooh, I need to get a haircut, it's getting long again._ She sighed a second time. _Oh Milly, I wish you were here to help me._ She grinned at herself. _It should be the other way around, shouldn't it?_

Turning her back to the building she was standing in front of, Meryl examined the town that was attempting to grow around her. It had been years since it's original destruction, and now the town was getting back up on its feet. _I can't believe how stupid he can be, shooting his gun offso close to that water reservoir, those generators were bound to blow. _She shook her head. _And now just look at this place, it'll be another few years before the water goes back down_. She arched an eyebrow with irritation. _And it was all because he went nuts over that stupid lady Marshall. _Meryl smiled._ Actually, she turned out to be pretty smart after all, now, what was her name? _As if fate were listening in on her thoughts, the answer came to Meryl in a most unusual way.

"Hello Marshall Marianne!" A voice towards the front of the line said. Meryl turned towards the front of the line in time to see the woman in her thoughts coming towards the line with a smile.

The man was waving madly now and the Marshall's cheeks turned a faint pink color. She looked past the man and at the line behind him and saw Meryl. Their eyes met. In a moment she was standing before the ex-insurance girl, with a smile on her face.

"Why, hello there! It's been a long time since I've seen you. Meryl, isn't it?" Meryl nodded at her. Marianne tilted her head, as if she were trying to think of something difficult. "But, weren't you with a few other people?"

"Er, yes. I was with my partner, Milly, who is now in Tomin Town, a few months pregnant." Meryl paused. "Er, and there was a tall, blonde idiot, you'll remember, who claimed to be Vash the Stampede."

"Ah yes! He was quite the man. Whatever happened to him?"

Meryl laughed nervously. "Well, it's funny that you mention that. You see, I'm on my way to find him now. He, um, actually turned out to be the **real** Vash the Stampede after all." She laughed again.

"Oh? But then why are you going after him then? More insurance work?"

"Well, no, I actually don't work for them anymore, I – "

"I see." Marianne interrupted with a smile. "It's no longer **work** is it?"

Meryl sighed dreamily. "Yes, I guess it's true. I, er, sorta fell in love with him."

"I would be interested to hear the story of how that came about." Marianne said. "When did you last eat?"

Meryl's face lit up. "Actually, I am a little hungry."

"Then, it's settled! As soon as you finish sending your telegram, meet me in the diner across the road for lunch!" The Marshall waved as she walked away.

* * *

The twins were panting with every step across the desert, sweating profusely. Knives looked irritated and Vash merely looked tired. The brothers stopped to take a drink out of their cantinas and discuss their situation. 

"I can't believe they kicked us off that stupid ship just because we were trying to save them." Knives stormed.

Vash stared at his brother is disbelieve. "**What**? I can't believe you're saying that? You didn't try to save those people at all! You just wanted to fight with Neon! So you go waving your gun all over the place and people freaked out! You scared them! **You** got us kicked off that ship!"

Knives was looking off towards the desert indignantly. "Whatever brother, the point is we're in the middle of nowhere."

"No we're not. While you were recuperating, I was traveling this planet, remember? Let's see." He paused and reflected. "Of course! This is where I met that cutie Marshall." Vash's eyes sparkled.

Knives cleared his throat. "I thought you were solely interested in finding your short insurance girl?"

Vash snapped out of the trance he was in. "Er, yeah, I am. But, a little pit stop never hurt anyone. Come on, this way."

* * *

Meryl pushed back her plate and smiled at Marianne from across the table. The sun was sparkling through the window of the diner they were eating their lunch in. "So, that's all. Pretty ridiculous isn't it?" 

"Hm." Marianne frowned. "I have to say, when you admitted being in love with him, I hoped he had a brother, but this Knives sounds like quite the demon."

"Yes, he is a monster. I only hope that Vash is alright." Meryl got to her feet. "Thank you so much for the meal, but I really must get on the road if I'm going to find him."

"Yes, I understand." The Marshall was on her feet as well. "It was good seeing you, please let me know if there's anything I can do."

Meryl opened the door of the diner and stopped short. The man, who had been haunting her dreams, plaguing her thoughts and consuming every ounce of her energy to find, was standing right before her. Meryl thought for a brief moment that her heart might possibly beat itself out of her chest from the shock of seeing him again, had she not had a distraction. She saw, beside her beloved, his twin, who's cold, icy blue eyes stared into hers with an emotion she couldn't detect. Meryl couldn't move, she couldn't breathe – she felt dizzy.

"Well speak of the devil." The Marshall spoke with laugher in her voice, over Meryl's shoulder.

"**Hello**!" Vash raised a hand and smiled that careless smile of his.

_Oh my god_ was the last thought Meryl had before she felt darkness swarm over her eyes and body.

* * *

Alright – so I caved under the pressure and brought them together. So, I guess we'll see what happens next. - lisa 


	12. Waking to a Dream

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Twelve: _Waking to a Dream_

I have a question that burns in my mind. I have meditated on it for what must be an eternity. But I still do not know the answer. Is she? Will she? Someone once told me that "sometimes the answers just crash down from heaven." And sometimes they come crashing out of a diner's front door.

* * *

Meryl woke up in phases; her senses took their time in bringing her clear out of her faint. At first she detected a smell. It was a very familiar smell, one she had grown accustomed to, the smell of sweet donuts, burnt gunpowder and the subtle sweat of an overdressed man. An unusual mixture, to be sure, but one that she loved, she breathed in deeply. Next her hearing returned to her. Although it was rather faint at the beginning a tune, like a memory filled her ears and her mind.

"So, on the first evening a pebble, from somewhere out of nowhere drops upon…"

At this point Meryl attempted to use her eyes. Opening them slowly, a fuzzy and blurred image proved that she would need a moment to adjust. She could make out a person, in red, sitting on the edge of what appeared to be the bed she was laying on. They were in a room, a large window lit up the other side of her bed. The person was the source of the voice that was singing softly to her. The person was the source of the smell that delighted her so very much. That person was –

"Vash?" Meryl tested her voice, it sounded a bit more harsh and shaky than she would have liked.

"Well hello there sleepyhead!" The all too familiar voice responded.

Meryl's eyes finally focused and she see that her senses were honest. Her heart's desire sat on the edge of her bed smiling at her, with that goofy grin he so commonly wore. She smiled back at him. Her heart was in her throat. He looked good, just as good as he used to when she was traveling the world with him. He was alive, he was here, he was watching her, he was smiling at her. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, to kiss him and to never let him go again. But first, she had to figure out what happened. She attempted to sit up. It was at this point that the sense of touch returned to Meryl. She felt exceedingly cool, not cold, but simply, not – not **covered. **Meryl looked down at herself and realized she was merely attired in her undergarments and the sheet of the bed. She glanced up, quite shocked to see the expression of interest and lechery on her beloved's face. A face, that moments later would have a very large, red handprint on it.

"What is going on here? Where are my clothes?" She was screaming. "Vash the Stampede **you** are in big trouble!"

"But! I didn't do anything! I – " He was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Meryl composed herself and in the sweetest voice she could muster answered the knock with a "Come in!"

The beautiful blonde Marshall stood at the door with a smile and an armload of what appeared to be Meryl's clothes. "Oh I thought I heard you up!"

Vash was grinning unwaveringly and slowly sliding towards the door. "Uh, see? It wasn't me! It was all the nice, friendly…." He reached the door. "Bye!"

Meryl was still clutching the sheet to her chest and staring blankly at the door that Vash had exited through. Marianne walked up to the bed and dropped the clothes on it.

"You're in the spare bedroom of my house. You've been out for about 5 hours or so. You know, when you fainted like that we were all pretty surprised. Your Vash caught you before you were face first in the dirt, that's some guy you've got there." Marianne began pouring water from a pitcher into its basin. She was obviously preparing for Meryl to wash her face.

Meryl began dressing herself in a hurry. "He's not exactly** my** guy though."

"On the contrary, I would say he is very much **your** guy. He carried you all the way here, despite his brother's complaints. Although, Knives is a force to be reckoned with, just as you had said." Marianne frowned.

"Knives surprised me. I can't believe he's here." Meryl mumbled through the shirt she was pulling over her head.

Marianne shot her an inquisitive look and frowned.

"Er, that was him, at the door of the diner, wasn't it?" Meryl asked.

'Yes, that was him. He does look strikingly like your Vash, doesn't he?"

"Not really." Meryl frowned. "Vash has kind eyes; looking into them you can see he's gentle and silly. They're not at all like Knives eyes; his eyes are cold and mean. I don't think they're anything alike."

Marianne had finished with the water and turned to her guest. "I assume after you refresh yourself you'll want to have something to eat. I have prepared a light meal and I believe your gentlemen friends have gone about making reservations at the inn down the road. You're welcome to stay here tonight, of course. But I have invited the men back for dinner, if that's alright by you?"

Meryl nodded and Marianne smiled. As she pulled the door closed behind her Marianne's laughter filled the hall and she gave one last comment to Meryl. "I'm sure tonight's dinner conversation will be very, intriguing? Wouldn't you agree?"

* * *

Alone in the room Meryl's head swam with thoughts. _Alright Meryl, there's no need to panic. You set out to find Vash and you did. Er, he found you that is._ She got to her feet and headed to the basin to awaken her skin by the fresh water. Splashing her face she blinked hard and looked up at her reflection in the glass above the basin. _What am I doing? This is Vash the Stampede! There's no way on earth he even cares about me like – oh, like I care about him! _Somewhere deep down inside Meryl a little voice continued her rant. _That's right, after all, there's nothing special about you Meryl, you're short and you're not blond like Marianne. You don't even have a great looking figure! What could he possibly see in you?_ Blinking again at the mirror, Meryl frowned. Sometime ago she had began to cry, the water that had run down her face mingled with the tears that were following in the water's tracks. She stared at her complexion before wiping her face furiously and straightening herself to her tallest height. _That's enough Meryl! You go down to dinner and stop crying like a little girl! There could be lots of reasons why you're here and none of them have to be about him!_

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

I see you out there, reading and not commenting, come on stop doing that! Please tell me what you think! lisa


	13. The Wager

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: _The Wager_

How can you trust something or someone in hopes of the good things to come when there is so much doubt about their coming? I've heard it said that good things come to those who wait and have patience. I trust she will prove me right.

* * *

A few townspeople watched through their windows at the two strange men walking down the road. The wind pulled at the darker blondes red coat and he was rolling his eyes in frustration about something. His obvious twin was scowling and shaking his head. The brothers were actually having yet another heated discussion, although none but themselves knew it, for the conversation was not audible. 

_I can't believe you! Carrying her off like that, spending all that time worrying about her and you still feel badly for her even after she slaps you!_ The pale blonde glared at his brother.

_Knives, you've got to trust me, if you knew her better you'd understand. She was surprised! I can't say I blame her; She was in a strange bed and women are very, sensitive about their clothing._ The golden blonde nodded his head at his brother.

_But she's such a witch! She had no interest in your welfare._

_No, she's not a witch and she does have interest in my welfare._

_Yes, she is a witch and what makes you think she cares at all? Why are you taking her side?_

"Knives. You've got to change your attitude." The red coated man stopped in his tracks and spoke in a hushed voice to his brother. "I realize her behavior makes you frustrated, but there's a reason for her reaction. Listen, this anger, this hostility – it isn't right and you know it. I'm on your side, I always will be, but you just haven't seen the good side of mankind." Vash stood directly before his brother now and squared his shoulders as he continued. "How about this, let's make a deal. We'll stay here for awhile, maybe a week, and during that time I want you to observe mankind as I see it. If, at the end of the week, you don't see what I'm talking about, then I will leave all of this, even her, and do whatever you want. Deal?"

Knives raised a suspicious eyebrow at his brother. "Just a week? That's it?"

"Just a week. If you can't see a loving, peaceful example of humanity in Meryl or someone else in this town than we don't have to stay here, I'll go wherever you want."

"You've got yourself a deal Vash." Knives smiled and shook his brother's hand.

"Great! Now, let's get back to the ladies, I bet Meryl's up and at 'em by now." Vash smiled momentarily and then shuddered. "I hope she's in a better mood."

_Does her temper frighten you brother?_

_Well, she can be a** little** bitchy._

_And she's the one you want to prove humanities love and peace through?_

Vash smiled. _Yeah. Despite her bitchiness, she's an excellent example. You should see her with children…

* * *

_

Meryl finally stepped down off the staircase and looked around the hallway she was in. _Well, one thing's for sure, Marianne has a good living here. _She admired the lovely decorations of the hall she stood in before hearing her name called from behind a door before her. It was Marianne.

"I'm here." Meryl sighed and entered what she found was the dining room. Gasping at the spread on the table before her she turned to Marianne who was putting the final touches on the table. "**This** is what you call a light dinner?"

"Well, it was at first, but I suppose I got a little carried away. It's not everyday I have an acquitted but infamous criminal and his psychopathic brother over for dinner." Marianne smiled sweetly. "It should be a very interesting meal, wouldn't you agree?"

Meryl was speechless, but it didn't matter much, for at that moment the doorbell rang.

"Oh it must be the rest of my guests." Marianne smiled again at Meryl. "Shall I, or would you like to do the honors?"

"Sure." Meryl found herself entering the hallway again and quickly approaching the front door before she realized how eager she must have seemed. _Stupid, why did you jump at the chance of greeting him like that?

* * *

_

As he approached the good Marshall's gate, Vash suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable. Just a few steps from the porch he started sweating. He wasn't sure when his collar had gotten to be so very tight but it was, and he sure he was going to suffocate.

"No, you're not." Knives' calm voice sounded beside Vash, bringing him back into reality.

"She's in there, just beyond this door. What should I say to her? What will she say to me?" Vash felt his face flush.

"Just relax; it's not that big of a deal." Knives said.

"Not that big of a deal? I left her all alone with a pregnant woman and as far as she knew I was going to my death! I should have said something! I didn't tell her how I felt before I left and she didn't say anything to me either, but," he paused.

"But **what**?"

"But I know she loves me just as much as I love her." Vash stammered at his sudden expression. Giving a heavy sigh he turned to look into his brother's wide eyes.

"You're joking." Knives stared at him.

"Not at all." Vash's faux serious voice answered him. "I knew she had a good heart when we met, I knew she would mean more to me than any other girl I've ever come across. The more we worked together, I saw how well we completed each other, like a perfect fit. She figured me out."

"I can't listen to anymore of this or I'll be sick." Knives turned and rang the doorbell.

"What should I **do**?" Vash's panic stricken voice cried out as he hid himself behind brother.

Knives turned angrily and grabbed his brother, pulling him into a headlock. "You're going to grow up and be an adult about this and just act calm before – "

But the door opened before Knives could finish his lecture and a very surprised Meryl stood before the brothers.

"**What** are you doing?" Meryl's voice sounded concerned.

Knives coldly released his brother and Vash stood to his full height and smiled bashfully at the woman before him.

**To Be Continued…

* * *

**

need input, must have input! do you know how hard it is to churn out stuff without anyone giving me their thoughts? lisa


	14. Dealing with Feelings

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: _Dealing with Feelings_

Butterflies are such beautiful creatures, colorful and graceful. But when they're in your stomach they can be the worse thing in the world. This butterfly of love that seemed once so illusive is now quite the frustration. Why can't I do anything about it?

* * *

"**What** are you doing?" Meryl's demanded.

"Hello again!" Vash was straightening himself from his brother's headlock.

"Er, yes, hello." Meryl wasn't sure how to respond.

"You were expecting us, correct?" Knives shrewdly glanced over Meryl's figure.

She cleared her throat. "Yes we were." She shot a look at Vash before thrusting her hand at Knives. "We haven't been properly introduced yet, have we? I'm Meryl –"

"Stryfe. I know." Knives interrupted and tapped his forehead. "Pleased to meet you I'm sure." He said the last part looking past Meryl, as if he were acknowledging her presence merely by word, because he did not look at her.

Meryl brought her hand back to her side, turned a bit red and blinked at her new acquaintance. Vash, seeing her reaction decided to intervene. He stepped forward towards her and into the house. "It smells good in here! I hope you ladies didn't go to any trouble for our sake."

"Well, **I **didn't, anyway." Meryl raised an eyebrow at Vash and crossed her arms in front of her. "This way to the dinning room, Marianne is waiting for us."

* * *

The brothers followed behind Meryl down the hallway in silence, which was fine as far as Meryl was concerned. Her mind was racing. _I've got to pull it together. Why am I acting like a moron? He shouldn't make me nervous it should be the other way around! **He's** the one who took off and then brings his evil brother out among decent people! I can't believe he'd be so stupid! What's wrong with him anyways? Why is he acting like a moron? He didn't act this stupid **before** he left. So why's he acting like this now? What's going on with him anyways? _Meryl frowned_. Why are they being so quiet? _

But the brothers were in fact having a silent conversation of their own.

_Aw, man…why do I lose it whenever she's around_! Vash was whining.

_It's because you're nervous. Although I can't understand why, she's not really impressive; she's short and mean, if you ask me. Listen Vash, you've really got to get a grip._ Knives responded. _She's going to think you're a moron._

_Yea, that's probably true. She probably already thinks I am. _

_Actually yes, she does. Right now, in fact, she's wondering why you're acting so stupidly. _

_But I **can't** help myself, I get all giddy and excited – I completely lose it._

_You **can** help yourself and you're going to have to. Pull yourself together; you've been through too much to give up now. If she's as important to you as you say, then you'll have to show her you're serious._

Vash nodded. _You're right. I **have** fought too hard to let a little nervousness ruin my plans. She probably sees past my stupidity by now anyways._

_Are you going to keep your cool now? _Knives patted his brother on the back.

_Yea, I'll be fine. _Vash smiled back at him.

* * *

Meryl came to a stop in front of a large set of doors, opened the right one and ushered the men in. Marianne was standing in front of a chair at the end of the table and smiled warmly to her guests. "Hello, and welcome my friends! Please, be seated." She waved a hand at the table.

_Oh boy, here we go_. Meryl found herself being assisted into a chair across from the empty seat that Vash would soon fill. She smiled over at Marianne and then found herself staring straight into the eyes of Vash the Stampede as he sat down across from her. He smiled at her with his eyes sparkling. _He looks strange_, _like he's been out running in circles, _she thought. _This is going to be the most awkward dinner conversation of my life, I guarantee it._ She smiled back at him and then sighed. The foursome filled their plates in silence, except for the occasional tapping and clicking of their silverware against their plates.

"So Mr. Vash," Marianne broke the silence to begin conversation. "It's nice to see you again; Meryl has informed me that the warrant for your arrest has been lifted. Tell me, what have you been doing since being freed of your condemnation?"

"Well Miss Marianne, it's good to see you again too. You've heard right, I'm a free man and I'm actually quite relieved, it was a real hassle avoiding all those bounty hunters." Vash smiled somberly. "Anyways I had a lot of things to take care of when I parted company with the insurance girls. Actually, as you can see, I was off finding my brother." He waved at the end of the table where Knives sat opposite the Marshall.

"Of course!" Marianne smiled at Knives. "You must be the infamous Knives I've heard so much about."

Knives eyes squinted at the woman before him. _She had a lot of nerve._ "I am Vash's brother Knives, yes."

"Tell me Knives, from what I understand of your history, you're responsible for quite a few deaths. Am I correct?"

"You are correct Marshall." Knives put down his fork and put his elbows up on the table. "I admit that I am responsible for the deaths of many people."

"I wonder that you owe up to it so proudly. Or, do you feel sorry for being the cause of so many deaths?" Marianne hesitated. "Are you repentant?"

"Why be repentant? Many people kill and are killed. My sin is no different than many others. I'm sure even you have had to murder a criminal or two in your day, and I'm sure you weren't repentant. Therefore, as I have killed so have you."

"**I** have acted in justice." Marianne growled.

"As have **I**." Knives scowled.

"How can killing hundreds of people be just?" Marianne jumped to her feet, knocking her chair to the ground behind her.

"Show me a completely innocent man." Knives shouted. "It's impossible. Everyone sins, they either act or think evil things. No one is innocent. Anyone who dies is merely receiving their punishment. Whether I kill one man or a hundred it has no effect, they're all evil."

"Kill one or a hundred. You only hang once." Marianne smiled sweetly.

"Um, this topic is very fascinating, I'm sure." Meryl interrupted. "But I think it's about time we heard the story of how you two found each other. What do you say Vash? Care to fill us in?"

Vash, who had been looking very anxiously at his brother and the Marshall's conversation, smiled at Meryl and cleared his throat. "I'd love to explain."

* * *

Merry Christmas Eve everyone! I hope everyone's holiday is beautiful! lisa 


	15. The Truth Confesed

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: _The Truth Confessed_

Someone once said that words should be weighed, not counted. I know now how true that statement is. It seems like my heart and my mouth are the heaviest things on this planet.

* * *

After the outburst of hostile words between Knives and Marianne, Vash told his story to the table. Resuming her chair, Marianne stabbed at her meal while listening attentively to the events as Vash retold them with precise accuracy. He willfully left out specific details about entering his brother's mind, but in the back of his, he made a note to explain it all to Meryl at his first opportunity. 

"So then, what made you come here?" Marianne asked.

"Well, we were in the neighborhood." Vash grinned.

"And Vash said we should make a pit stop to see the cute Marshall." Knives said pointedly.

Meryl glared at the blonde man across from her. _I can't believe him! Talking so sweetly to me, making me believe that he cared! When the whole time he was coming to see her! Of all the stupid, pig-headed moronic things to do! _Meryl threw her napkin on the table, shoved her chair back and rose to her feet.

"Thank you for the meal Marianne, but I really must be going, I have a partner that will shortly be in great need of me and work waits for no one." In a few swift steps she was at the door opening it.

"Meryl." Vash was also on his feet. "Wait, before you go, let me have a word."

Vash reached out and snagged Meryl's hand in his. She turned, shocked by his actions, and found him very close to her.

"Let go of me." She growled.

"I will, as soon as you listen to me." He implored.

She stared at him, half curious and half angry. For a moment it seemed like a spell had been cast over her, and she had completely forgotten how to speak. It wasn't until Marianne's laughter echoed over to the door that she found her ability to speak. Meryl sighed heavily.

"Alright, five minutes, no more and no less. You say what you have to say and then I am out of here." Meryl crossed her arms.

"Five minutes." Vash echoed and gestured to the hallway.

Behind her, Meryl could hear the beginnings of a conversation between Marianne and Knives, but her mind was racing too fast to focus on anything being said. At that moment, she was far too busy remembering to breathe, and she was desperately trying to get her heart to stop beating so loudly. As it was, if it kept up beating like this, she wouldn't be able to hear anything he said anyways. Meryl was preoccupied. It wasn't until, moments later when she was standing on the Marshall's front porch that she even realized she was outside. The fresh night air did her good though, and she was able to think clearly. Looking up and Vash she crossed her arms and waited.

"There are something's that I left out of my story Meryl." He said softly. "I need to explain it to you now, but I know what you're thinking, and I'm pretty sure you're unwilling to hear me out. So, I'm just going to say it and you can choose to listen if you'd like." He paused and Meryl took the opportunity to speak up.

"I am willing to hear you Vash, just don't waste my time, say what you have to and let's get this over with."

Vash nodded and took a deep breath. _Here we go. _"Can I tell it to you in a different way than just using words?"

Meryl looked confused. "Can you **what**?"

* * *

Knives wasn't interested in having the dessert that Marianne offered. He was more interested in his brother's conversation with the snotty, short woman. But the blonde woman before him wasn't about to be ignored. 

"I see your brother has an amazing degree of faith in you, leaving us alone like this." She said.

He glanced over at her. "My brother isn't leaving me alone. He may not be here physically, but he is always in my mind mentally."

"What does that mean?" She frowned.

"It means that we're higher life forms." He smiled.

"Right, just because you can communicate without being present doesn't mean you're any better than anyone else." She leaned back in her chair.

"Excuse me?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Intelligent communication does not require a complicated form to be successful. It's not **how** you communicate, but **what** you communicate. Obviously, you and your brother have proven that you're just as messed up as everyone else. You may have been able to communicate on a deeper level but you weren't able to be effective, no offense, but you only ended up driving him away." She said.

Knives was silent in his chair staring at the woman before him, could it be that she was actually an intelligent creature? She did raise a well thought out argument, so well thought out in fact, that he himself could not argue it. He tilted his head as she continued and wondered what her reaction would be if he tested her.

"Of course, I don't think I would mind having the ability to communicate just through my mind. It would be handy to – " She stopped short.

_Would you like to give it a try?_ Knives voice was suddenly clearly ringing in her mind. Marianne blinked at him from across the table.

"Yes, I think –"

_Shhh. **Think** your response, don't speak it._

_Yes – _she hesitated _– I think I would like to give it a try. _She blinked at her success.

_It's much more convenient, isn't it? _He lifted his glass and drank while his mind spoke to her

_I would have to agree. _She shifted in her seat_. But I would have preferred you ask me before entering my mind like this. _

_My apologies. _He nodded.

_Is this all there is to it? Tell me, if I were in another room of this house, would this communication still work?_

_Yes, it always works._

_Interesting. _She smirked.

**To be continued…

* * *

**

Ha! I'm totally gonna deny you the goodness until the very last second! Er, well, at least until the next chapter...lisa


	16. First Kiss

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Sexteen: _First Kiss_

I've dreamt of it since I met her. I have the courage. I'm going in.

* * *

Vash took a deep breath. _Here we go._

"Can I tell it to you in a different way than just using words?"

Meryl looked confused. "Can you **what** – how else can you explain things other than with words? Are you gonna draw me pictures? Get real Vash, if you're trying to get out of an explanation you'll have to try harder than that."

_I'm not trying to get out of anything. Meryl, I **want** to tell you everything. But can I tell you what has happened, where I've been, and what my heart is feeling without saying it out loud?_

Meryl gasped and blinked up at Vash, her face lit up with apprehension and shock at the fact that although his mouth was not moving, she heard his voice ever so clearly in her head. She took a step back, shaking her head hesitantly. The porch suddenly seemed a much darker place without her standing so close to him. She was scared. He cringed at his stupidity. _It's too much and too soon_. He was overwhelming her and she didn't know how to respond.

_Wait, Meryl, don't freak out on me, please let me explain. _He looked at her, imploring her to stay and to listen.

"Vash? But - I don't understand…what the hell is going on? How the hell…" She stuttered.

"Meryl, please listen to me. It's not what you think, no, **I'm** not what you think." He shook his head. This was hopeless. _How can I make you understand? _He reached out for her, but she stepped away from his grasp. _It doesn't matter, does it? I'm too late, aren't I?_

Meryl stood still and looked up at the man of her dreams. So, **this** was the real Vash? He was so sad, so **lost** looking. He was such a mystery to her, would she ever understand him? He dropped to his knees and put his hands over his face. She stared. Was he crying? Suddenly, it didn't matter how he had learned to make his voice echo in her mind, all that mattered, was that he was there in front of her, and he wanted to talk to her.

"Vash, you're not too late." She put her hand down on his shoulder. "It's true, I don't understand you, but I want to. Go ahead; tell me in whatever way you need to. I'm here to listen. I – I want to know."

He looked up at her through two seriously dark yet red rimmed eyes.

_I don't know where to start. I don't know what's good enough to say. _He took her hand in his. _Meryl, I had to leave you because I had to stop Knives, you know that don't you? _She nodded_. I admit when I left, I didn't know exactly what I was going to do. Maybe I was going to kill him, maybe I wasn't, I wasn't sure. But I knew that no matter what, I would go back to you, and I think you knew it too._

"I did know you'd come back to me. I did know that." Meryl whispered.

_Alright, when I found Knives, we fought and we both almost died. You remember what I told you before I left, about how he had made those guns for us and what they do?_ She nodded again. _Well, I took him to a special place, where I could be alone with him when he woke up. But he spent all of his energy and wasn't healing. So, I had to heal him and when I did, I realized what had made him go insane. It was **me** Meryl, he wanted me to love him and I hadn't. I had been a **bad** brother._

Meryl gasped and stared at Vash. His sorrowful eyes stared at the ground for a moment, as he reflected. Suddenly something in Meryl snapped. How could he possibly think that this whole thing was his fault?

"Vash, you can't accept the blame for his decisions. He did what he wanted to. It's not your fault! Don't blame yourself." Meryl's voice rose as she released her frustration.

"Shh – Meryl." He got to his feet and wrapped his arms around her as an attempt to comfort her. "Please understand, he was hurt, and he was alone. Meryl, I left him when he needed me the most."

Meryl was silent for a moment letting his words impact her mind. She suddenly understood him and Knives. "I see."

"Do you?" He looked down at the small insurance girl in his arms and realized just how good it was to hold her.

"It's easy to understand Vash. He needed you, just like I do." She said the last part so softly that he almost didn't hear her. Almost.

But he did. "Do you need me Meryl? Do you need me?"

She looked up into his eyes and was amazed to see that his eyes were so close to hers. "Of course I do. Vash, didn't you know that?"

"Good. Cause I need you too." At once, she became aware of the fact that he had not released his hold on her.

She was going to remark on this, but her train of thought was abruptly interrupted. He was moving closer to her. He was bending in towards her. _Oh my god, he's going to –_

He was kissing her.

In that one moment everything changed. She froze. Her mind would have been racing but for some reason she couldn't think. It was just like she had imagined it would be, no, it was much better. He was gentle and soft, but strong and passionate at the same time. His familiar scent filled her senses and she found herself quite dizzy. Her heart raced so loudly she almost forgot who she was and before she could do anything to stop herself, she was kissing him back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her mouth to him, to deepen the kiss. He was warm and sweet tasting, astonishing like a glazed donut. The thought made her want to laugh, if she hadn't been enjoying the kiss so much she might have risked a laugh but she didn't want anything to ruin this moment. It was perfect.

When at last he needed some air, Vash straighten up and away from the kiss. He looked down at Meryl, who still had her eyes tightly closed. Her face seemed a little more red than usual. He grinned.

"You look red."

She opened her eyes and felt a deeper blush cover her face. "You're an idiot Vash."

**To be continued…

* * *

**

well, what do you think of their first kiss? juicy enough? I hope it was good cause I really liked writing that. heck, maybe I should join the ranks of the naughty lemon writers… lisa


	17. Beautiful

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: Beautiful 

Is there anything more wonderful than seeing an artist complete a masterpiece? They work and they slave over their work until it has one last stroke of the brush missing and when it is finished, it's beautiful. I feel like the masterpiece.

* * *

Knives eyes suddenly widened. _What the hell was that?_

"I'm sorry? Did I do something wrong?" Marianne looked confused.

"No. My brother is being a fool, that's all." Knives got to his feet. "I have to stop him. He never thinks things through to their logical conclusion."

"What has he done?" Marianne also rose.

"He's just kissed that woman, I think." Knives reached for the door and began to open it.

"Ah!" Marianne smiled. "No, you don't!" She stopped the motion of the opening door with her foot.

_I beg your pardon **woman**, what do you think you're doing? _He glared at her.

_I think I'm stopping **you** from being a hypocrite. _She smiled.

_What are you getting at?_ He raised an eyebrow.

"What are you going to do Knives? Go marching up to him and curse him? Perhaps fight him? Now who's not following things through logically?"

"You're going to have to explain yourself." Knives crossed his arms impatiently.

"I guess you're not a 'know-it-all' are you? You're not reciprocating your brother's trust!" She paused looked up at the intense blonde man before her. He was silent. She cleared her throat and continued. "Alright, think about this, your brother has had an extreme amount of patience with you. Not only did he heal you and nurse you back to health when he could have left you for dead, but he brought you here, and trusted you to meet with people like her and myself. No offense, but your track record with humans would have made him logically conclude that bringing you out around people would have been a bad idea. But he obviously trusts you, even if he doesn't really understand your reasoning. Now, don't you think it's the least you could do for him, to return the favor?

He stared at her. _Amazing. _

"Well?" She put her hands on her hips.

"You're right, I **don't** understand his reasoning, but I'll stay here then." He smiled and continued. "Tell me **woman**, why would he want to kiss her?" Knives tiled his head and smiled at the woman before him.

Marianne felt hot. "Er, my **name** is Marianne, and he probably wanted to kiss her because….because…oh…how should I know? There are lots of reasons to kiss someone." She threw her hands in the air.

_For example? _He stepped closer to her.

_For example, well..._Suddenly Marianne didn't like how easily he made his voice echo in her mind. _For example, some people feel strong emotions, like love for each other, and it makes them want to be physically close. _She froze. He had moved closer to her, too close. She blinked in surprise. _You've got to be kidding me?_

"Physically close? Like this?" He asked, his breathe tickling her neck.

Marianne felt a surge of passion flow over her body, leaving her with goose bumps and a tingly feeling under the skin. "Yes, something like that. That is why some people kiss." She smiled and took a step back. "So, that's why you shouldn't go interrupt your brother, whether you approve or not. He obviously has emotional connections with Meryl and no matter how much you'd like to, you can't control your brother's emotions."

He stepped back as well and smiled at her. "You're right. I'll take that dessert now."

As they set back at the table Marianne served her guest the crème brulee with grace. She returned to her seat and began eating her own dessert, but neither person was focused on their final course. Knives was contemplating the new piece of education he had received from the woman, no, Marianne. Marianne on the other hand was attempting to make her thoughts as generic as possible. _Are you reading my thoughts right now?

* * *

_

"I'm an idiot huh?" Vash smiled and hugged the woman in his arms a little tighter. "Well, I'm an idiot that needs you, so, that's a little better than just being an idiot."

"That's right, a little better than just an idiot." Meryl echoed. She sighed softly. It was wonderfully nice to be held in those strong, scarred arms. Scarred arms. _Oh! That's right! _Meryl straightened herself away from Vash and looked him in the eye. "Vash, when I was trying to follow your trail I had a lot to think about. I have so many things I want to know about you. I feel like you're such a mystery. Like what are you going to do with yourself now? And how did you learn to talk to someone without using your mouth? And where did you take Knives to heal him? And **how** did you heal him? And –"

Vash had put a finger on her lips, stopping her mid-question. "A person can't think so many thoughts at one time Meryl, they'll explode. Can I ask you to do something for me without offending you?"

"Er, well, yes, of course you can." Meryl stammered.

"Don't be so uptight Meryl, please. I'm not used to feeling like this and I'm pretty scared that if I do explain all that stufff, right here and right now, you'll hit the road before I'm done. Let's just take this one step at a time and see where it goes. What do you say?" said Vash.

"Ok. That sounds good. And, I'm not offended Vash, but this is all new to me too, so please keep that in mind." Meryl nodded.

"I will Meryl, I will." He smiled and laughed. "Alright this is good! Who knew what today would have in store for me? The stars have finally decided to shine on me! Let's go back inside, without me in there, my brother, I'm sad to say, is freaking out." Vash turned towards the door and then smiled back at the small woman on the porch. He offered her his hand as he opened the door. "Hey, you know what?"

"Hm?"

"You once asked me why nothing good ever follows me, remember?"

"Yes?"

"Well, you were following me, so it looks like that's not true anymore."

Meryl grinned and took his hand and suddenly stopped. "Vash?"

"Yeah?" He looked down at her.

"What are we going to call this?" She looked back up at him.

"I think this is called beautiful." Vash winked.

* * *

Well! This is just getting' sappy – Vash'll be tied to Meryl's apron strings before too long… lisa 


	18. Dilemma

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Eighteen: Dilemma 

Pride is a poisonous monster that kills honesty. Pride takes a man who should admit what's on his mind and torture's his mind until he has nothing but anger and confusion. _What am I going to do? _He thinks, but until the monster leaves him, he can never know.

* * *

The following morning, Vash was in an incredibly good mood. He opened his eyes and suddenly, everything seemed much more, vivid. The sky was blue, the sunlight warmed his skin. He tasted his lips and could have sworn there was something pleasantly sweet still lingering there. _I kissed her. I did it!_ _It was wonderful._ He grinned and stretched himself out and sighed. _What took me so long?_ He rolled out of bed, washed his face, shaved, spiked his golden hair and began humming while he hurriedly clothed himself. He scratched his head when he realized he had misplaced a boot. _I must have kicked it off last night before I went to bed_. He smiled, even a missing boot didn't matter, he was far too happy. _I am the **luckiest** man on the face of this planet._ He strolled into the living room area of the hotel room that he and Knives shared to find Knives was sitting in the chair by the window staring out. It was obvious that Knives hadn't slept. Vash tilted his head curiously at his brother before deciding that it would be best to not comment on Knives' appearance. Instead he opted for his usual morning performance. 

"Good morning dear brother! What do you want for breakfast?" He grinned at the grumpy looking Knives while searching the room for his missing boot.

"I'm not hungry." Knives didn't look back at his brother.

Vash raised an eyebrow. Hm. _What's eating you?_

_I just told you that I wasn't interested in **eating**!_

_Er – I didn't - did you even hear what I said?_

Knives blinked. "What?"

"I asked what was eating you, not what you wanted to eat." Vash frowned. "You really aren't yourself today are you? Get up on the wrong side of the bed?"

Knives didn't answer but turned back to the window. Vash shrugged and half-heartedly returned to the search for his boot while the other half of his heart stayed with the dismal brother who sat so gloomily near him. Vash eyed his brother again. He looked tired, he needed a shave and of course something to eat. _I wonder what's up.

* * *

_

In truth, Knives was distracted, and he hated it. No, what he hated were **his thoughts**. _That Marshall - Marianne!_ She was consuming his thoughts.

Last night, during dinner she was coy, smug and rude. _She was attacking_. Then Vash and his short woman left the room and suddenly she became so - **interesting**. _Or maybe she had been interesting before._ He frowned. _Hell._ He didn't know! _She had caught on quickly to his telepathy. She showed no fear._ She stood up to him. _Does she even know who I am?_ She must! Surely the insurance girl blabbed the whole story to her. _But then…why didn't she fear me?_ _And when Vash and Meryl had rejoined them after dinner, she changed yet again! She's an annoying creature! She's a stupid woman who hasn't even come close to experiencing the education and power that I have. Yet, she is so…alluring. What should I do with her? Damn women! They prove my point about the evils of mankind.

* * *

_

Meryl would never have over-slept under normal circumstances, but these circumstances certainly weren't normal. _I've found him. He's alive._ She blinked at the sunlight in her eyes, rolled over away from the pest and scrunched down into her sheets. _He's alive and he's here, no more than 10 minutes away from me. I had dinner with him! His voice, he spoke to me in a way….that I've never experienced before_! She sighed. _He kissed me! Everything is different now. _Meryls smiled and giggled despite her naturally cynical personality. _He kissed me! He needs me! Er, well of course he needs me, that moron can't do anything right unless I'm there making sure he doesn't mess it up! What will happen when we settle down and have a house? I'll have to watch him like crazy or he'll burn the place down! But he'll be a great father._ Unexpectedly, Meryl's heart was pounding in her ears as the realization of her thoughts impacted her to the fullest. _He'll be the father of…**my children**!_

A sudden rap at the pulled Meryl from her dreams mercilessly. Meryl peeked out from the covers and called out. "Who is it?"

"It's Marianne." The answer came.

"Oh, sure Marianne, I'm awake, come in." Meryl set up in bed and attempted to make herself look as awake as possible.

Marianne entered the room in a rush and then stopped short. "You're still in bed?"

"Er, yea, I was very tired." Meryl attempted to smile.

"I see." Marianne blinked and suddenly began to pace the room. "Alright Meryl, I've got to talk to you about Knives."

Meryl pushed the covers of her bed back and stretched out her legs as she answered. "Knives? What about him?"

Marianne stopped her pacing again and gave Meryl a deadly look. "He's a criminal."

Meryl got to her feet and began looking around for her clothes. "Well, I guess that's true."

"I have to arrest him." Marianne said.

"You **what**?" Meryl turned around in shock.

"He is solely responsible for hundreds of people's deaths. He's a murderer. He has to be held accountable for his crimes." Marianne continued her pacing.

Meryl stood still and watched the Marshall without speaking.

"Furthermore, he is a dangerous person, criminal or not. He's far too powerful for his own good, he can…" She paused. "He can make his voice echo in your mind without actually speaking to you."

"I know." Meryl hung her head a little.

"You do?" Marianne gasped.

"Vash can do the same thing." Meryl softly whispered.

"Then…how? I mean, how do they do that?" Marianne took Meryl by the shoulders and looked her in the eye. "Do you know? Is there something you haven't shared with me? You told me they were responsible for July and the rumors that fly around Vash…there's something about them – they're not normal."

"Well, that's true, they're not. Vash gave me some details, but, I don't know if I can share them with you Marianne. There's a great deal of history and sorrow between them. But listen to me Marianne, trying to arrest Knives would be a big mistake. He** is** dangerous."

Marianne stepped back from Meryl and looked at her suspiciously. "I don't understand you Meryl. I have a job to do, I thought you'd understand that."

"I do understand the importance of a job, trust me, but believe me when I say that some jobs have to be studied before you can complete them. You have questions about the twins; maybe you should ask them for the answers. Maybe the answers will surprise you. It's possible that there's more to them than I originally thought…" Meryl's voice drifted off as she was obviously chasing her train of thought in her mind.

"Perhaps…" Marianne turned to leave. "I'm sorry for interrupting you. Please, when you're ready we'll have breakfast downstairs. Take your time." Marianne waved as she quickly pulled the door closed behind her. She leaned against the door and breathed in deeply. _What am I going to do? Yes, he's a criminal, he's a murderer! But he's so – **captivating**. Maybe she's right; maybe I should just observe him and see what happens. But what if he kills again? Damn man! Oh, what am I going to do?_

**To Be Continued...**

_

* * *

_

It would be awesome to have over 50 reviews…(WINK) lisa


	19. ManWoman

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Nineteen: Man/Woman 

We sit and smile at each other when our minds race with unspoken words. The question is, why are we so afraid to say them? Why are we so afraid to love?

* * *

The Marshall's house was situated in the new part of town. It was the nicely located in the center of the street, so someone who was observant could see people coming and going without having to move much. It was the perfect way to spend the late morning. So, Meryl sat on the porch, the same porch where only a few hours before hand Vash had kissed her. She had just been joined by the Marshall who was now relating some stories she had accrued over the years and they were both laughing, when Vash and Knives rounded the corner of the street. Both women stopped laughing and shot each other understanding looks. 

Marianne rose to her feet and moved towards the steps to welcome her guests for the second time that week. She looked calm, but she didn't feel that way; everything was dependant on Knives actions and she didn't like it when the ball was in the other court. Meryl, on the other hand, didn't even attempt to contain her worked up state. She wanted to hold his hand and laugh at his jokes, but she had never shown him that side of her, what if he didn't** like** it?

Of course, the condition of the women was quite equivalent to the condition of the men. Vash was excited and yet terrified. He was torn between running up to Meryl, scooping her up in his arms and covering her with kisses and walking up to Meryl and offering her a polite handshake. What would she want? Knives was also in a state of complete frustration. He couldn't abandon his brother after all they've been through, but that Marshall made his skin crawl. How was he **supposed** to react to her anyways?

They had reached the gate. Meryl got to her feet and moved over next to Marianne. Vash threw up a saluted greeting and waved for the women to come nearer. He was grinning and he shouted out to them.

"Are you lovely ladies ready for a super delicious lunch? It'll be our treat!"

Meryl looked at Marianne who smiled politely at Vash and answered him . "If you're paying, you **bet** we're hungry."

* * *

The walk to the diner had been fairly silent. Marianne walked beside Meryl and Vash took his place on the other side of Meryl, with his brother at his side. Marianne had chattered on about the landmarks they passed on their way, but mostly everyone was lost in their thoughts. Vash and Meryl took turns exchanging shy smiles and glances that Marianne and Knives ignored. Of course, had Knives been interested in listening to the thoughts of the other three people in the party he would have found quite the tumultuous chorus of thoughts crying through their minds. At current, he was planning out a strategy to turn the tables of control back to the Marshall. He had decided that his experience with women was just too limited for him to make any important moves, and seeing as killing the Marshall was not an option, at least not currently, he had to initiate a very surface conversation Marianne had fortunately run out of small talk topics and gave them all a minute of silence. They neared the diner and he decided to make his move. 

_So, how are you feeling today?_ He looked expectantly over at Marianne.

"You'll have to tell me how you do that." She turned towards him and smiled. He frowned, that wasn't exactly what he expected her to say.

"What was that?" Meryl looked confused.

"Er, I was just reminding myself to ask Knives a question." Marianne smiled back at Meryl.

Knives eyes narrowed just slightly. "**You **didn't answer** my** question."

_I'm feeling just fine, thank you Knives. How are you? _Marianne lifted an eyebrow at Knives.

* * *

Vash saw the tense looked shared between the Marshall and his brother and decided to distract Meryl before the situation intensified. 

_Have I told you how beautiful you look today?_

Meryl blushed. "Er, no, I don't believe you have."

Well, **that** was a distraction. He grinned at her as they found their table and got situated around it. For some reason they always seemed to face their frustrations over meals, it made it very difficult to digest their food. The poor waiter seemed confused by the lack of conversation at the table as he took their orders. The short girl kept speaking, but no one was speaking to her – **out loud**.

* * *

Vash couldn't take his eyes off of Meryl. _Did you sleep well last night?_

"Yes I did. How about you?" She asked.

_I slept great! I had some pretty amazing dreams._ He grinned at her.

* * *

_I have no complaints._ Knives tone of voice wasn't convincing as he answered the Marshall telepathically. 

_That's right, I can't imagine you having complaints! That would be a show of weakness, a show of emotions. Which reminds me._ The Marshall sipped her water and looked up at Knives. _Tell me Knives, other than man's inferiority, does anything else move your emotions at all?

* * *

_

"Oh no, should I even ask?" Meryl laughed.

_Absolutely! They were great dreams, you'll be missing out if you don't let me share them._ Vash widened his grin.

Meryl blushed slightly and then much to her surprise found herself asking him. "Alright, tell me about them, if you want to."

* * *

Knives shifted in his seat. He couldn't concentrate. How could a mere **woman** make him feel so uncomfortable and why in the hell did that short woman keep talking out loud? _My twin insists on making a display out of his emotions, obviously we experience them._ Knives returned Marianne's shrewd look. 

_Ah, but your **brother's** emotions are obviously not yours or you would be fawning over Meryl right now. Come on Knives, I'm not interested in understanding what makes Vash tick, I asked **you**._ Marianne smiled.

* * *

_Well, I was dreaming about you._ Vash suddenly donned a serious expression. _I was thinking about the future._

"Er, what about the future?" Meryl's face suddenly felt hot.

_VASH! Can't you teach her how to use her mind? Her voice is so irritating! _Knives interrupted their conversation.

_Not now Knives! Damn, give me a minute! _Vash shot an angry look at his brother. He looked back at the red-faced short girl sitting next to him and smiled. _Where was I?_

"The future." Meryl blinked.

_Right..._ Vash grinned again. _Where should I start…_

**To Be Continued…**


	20. NDW

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry! _I also have to say, I am doing this against my better judgment, I feel very at odds with this decision, so, for those of you who **aren't **fans of this storyline, I'm sorry all the more, but I'm mainly doing this for those of you who** are **fans of raising someone from the dead...

* * *

_

Chapter Twenty: NDW

What the difference a man can make. It's been said that to everything there is a season, a time for laughing and weeping, a time for love and for hate and most of all, a time for death and a time for life.

* * *

_Where should I start… First I want to teach you how to communicate with me without having to speak._ Vash reached across the table and took Meryl's hand in his. 

Meryl blinked. "How do I do that?"

_Just feel and think the words instead of saying them_. He smiled.

Silence followed. Meryl looked intensely up at Vash. "Did you hear me?"

_No, but don't worry, nobody gets it on their first time, try again._

Meryl scrunched up her nose, shut her eyes tightly, and succeeded. **_CAN YOU HEAR ME?_**

Vash winced. _Yes, that time you got through, but there's no need to shout._ He winked.

_I did it! Alright! _Meryl clapped her hands together momentarily, before returning to her naturally composed persona.

Vash grinned. It made him so happy to see her happy. _Now, about the future…_

Without warning Meryl threw up a hand and stopped him mid-sentence. _Wait Vash, I have to say this first. Milly is, um, pregnant._

Vash almost spewed the mouthful of water he had just taken in. He coughed as he responded to her. _She is? How did she? When did she? Oh._ He frowned.

_Yea, it was him. So, please, I have to get back to her, she's no doubt ready to go any day now, I've taken way too long in finding you. She's going to need me._

_I see. _Vash's serious expression came over his face.

_

* * *

_

_Of **course **I feel emotions. I feel very strong emotions towards my family and also towards humans._ Knives pushed his plate away from him. _But I fail to see how that fact would lead you to understand what 'makes me tick'._

_So you admit that you feel strongly. _Marianne also pushed her plate away._ Then have you ever empathized with your brother or with any human?_

_Empathized? _Knives looked confused.

_Yes, empathized, you know, put yourself in the other person's place, explored what it is to feel as they do, or as you would in their position?_ Marianne smiled casually.

_Why would I do that?_

_So you can take full responsibility for your behavior. _

_I can see the expense of my actions without placing myself in the situation._

_I disagree._

_How did I **know** you would say that? _Knives rubbed his temples and sighed.

_What? _Marianne looked insulted.

_Never mind.

* * *

_

Milly wasn't one for worry or concern about much, the way she saw it, things usually take care of themselves so there's no good reason to worry about them. However, Meryl had been gone for some time now, over three months in fact, and there were things happening in her life that made her miss her partner. There were things, more specifically which made her **need** her partner. She didn't want to be alone anymore.

Her arms were full as she exited the market place. She had to make fairly large trips to the store nowadays because it was such a challenge to get out and walk across town. But today the sun was shining so brightly and the sky was so blue that she felt energized. In short, it was a beautiful day and even at nine months pregnant, Milly felt like getting out. It had been difficult to make the trek to the market, and it was even more so with her arms laden with bags. But her spirits were still high as she peaked above her full grocery bags, waddled back towards her home, and thought about the upcoming events of her life. As she passed certain shops, some of the townspeople who had grown accustomed to Milly waved to her and gave her encouraging compliments. Milly smiled, she knew she was going to deliver any day now, hopefully sooner rather than later. But she still felt a little scared about delivering the baby **alone**. She shifted the bags that she was carrying creating a clear view of the road before her and stopped short. She couldn't breathe.

A tall, dark haired man was scratching his head as he bent to examine the fruits of a local vendor. He stood back to his fullest height and smiled warmly, digging in his pocket for the correct change to purchase the apple. He didn't have enough. The clerk refused the small amount offered and snatched the fruit away from the dark haired man.

"Aw come on, have a heart! I'm **starving** to death!" The man pleaded and his voice echoed like shattered glass in Milly's ears.

"No way, pal. We don't do discounts!" The vendor crossed his arms and shook his head.

Milly stepped forward, placed her bags on the ground and gave the correct change to the clerk, who thanked her kindly and handed the apple to the tall man. The man turned and looked blankly at Milly, who in turn stared back at him. Suddenly, he smiled and laughed warmly.

"Well thank you! I was pretty sure I was gonna go hungry! You're a saint!" He grinned. "Allow me to introduce myself! The name's Nicholas D. Wolfwood. I'm just a priest passing from town to town in search of souls in need, and if I may say so, you look like just that sort of soul. Hey, will you allow me to assist you with those bags it's the least I could do? I have to say I don't think a woman in your condition should be out wandering the streets alone anyways! What would your husband say?"

* * *

Do you hate me? Be honest! lisa 


	21. Unexpected

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One: Unexpected 

A wise man once said that a sudden bold and unexpected question will many times surprise a man and lay him open. When the woman is the questioner, how much truer is that statement.

* * *

Meryl didn't expect Vash to be so steadfast about her decision to go back to Milly. But then again, he **was **full of surprises. After the meal, during the walk home, he insisted on stopping several times at local stores to purchase items for the trip. Knives wasn't in a shopping mood, which didn't surprise Meryl, and Marianne seemed to be quite distracted by something, so when Vash asked them to go on, they both agreed. It was shocking to Meryl that they agreed to go **together**, but who was she to say anything. The other shocking thing about Vash's behavior was the amount of goods he was purchasing, at least two of everything. He was obviously planning on accompanying her. 

"Um, I don't drink that much water." Meryl attempted to get some honesty out of him.

"I know, but I drink tons." He grinned. "Of course you won't mind an escort, will you?"

"Vash, are you sure you want to come with me?" Meryl raised an eyebrow at the blonde juggling bags beside her. "I'm going to help her deliver a baby you know."

"Of course I know! But Meryl, I can't let you go wandering the planet all by yourself! Besides, I love babies. And you might need me, I **do** know a great deal about new life." He grinned.

"Er, you do?" Meryl's face expressed her astonishment a little too well. "Vash have you delivered a baby?"

Vash didn't give much of a response, but his face quickly grew red.

"That's what I thought!" Meryl stopped walking and put her hands on her hips. "You have no clue about babies! Vash, have you ever even **held** a baby?"

"Well! There's more to a baby than just holding it!" Vash attempted to stick up for himself. "There's…you know…other stuff."

"Like maybe changing its diapers or feeding it? I suppose you know** all** about that!" Meryl's voice was rising. _You're so full of it! Alright Vash, it's time for the truth, why are you so hell bent on coming with me?_

"Alright, I give! I just don't want you to be away from me." Vash's teary eyed expression came over his face. _Meryl, it's taken us so** long** to get together, can I help it if it would kill me to see you leave?

* * *

_

The walk home may have been the longest walk that Milly had ever taken. Every step was a challenge, not only because she had to endure her pregnant weight but also because her heart was heavier than her body. She ached. He commented on what seemed like a million things. She was only half listening. He wasn't saying anything about her, about them; he wasn't saying anything, **important**.

Milly's mind was a caught in the torments of reckless, raging fury. **What**. What had happened? He was alive? She was walking beside him, he was carrying her groceries, she was answering his questions, and he was **smiling**. It was all wrong! When someone dies, they cannot be walking, they cannot be talking, they cannot be eating a god damned apple! She blinked. Why was she swearing? Why did her heart hurt so much? What did it all mean?

She didn't say anything. She just walked. It wasn't until the pain in her heart exploded and shot through her body that she even realized that her eyes weren't the only part of her body that was leaking. She was soaking wet around the ankles. She stopped; her eyes grew large in pain and panic. She turned to him.

"What are you doing here Nicholas? Why are you alive?" She said softly.

"I – what did you say?" He looked shocked.

That's when everything went black.

* * *

Knives was irritable. Somehow his brother had abandoned him for a woman yet again. He walked beside the Marshall and tried to ignore her smiles. Since when did he allow **humans **to berate and lecture him? **Him**! And this was no regular human, she was a woman! No human woman would tell **him** what to do! She was over confident! She was too conceited! She was – 

_You're being quiet? Cat got your tongue?_

He rolled his eyes. She was interrupting his thoughts. _I have nothing to say._

_You're either dumb or a lousy liar. _She smirked at him. _You have already admitted that though you believe you're a higher life form but that doesn't match up with your own descriptions of yourself. You admit you can't communicate very well with your own brother. You also admit that you've killed countless people. You also admit to feeling emotions, very strong emotions I might add. It's not adding up Knives. You long to have a relationship with your brother, you long to share feelings with him, that's exactly what every other human feels! You're no different than everyone else! You've killed people; don't tell me that it doesn't mean anything! You had to have felt something! In your heart you know I'm right, and furthermore you know that you do feel when you kill! Tell me it's true! I want to hear you say it!_

Knives turned and glared into Marianne's eyes.

_You can lower your pistols Knives, I'm trying to help._

"I don't have my weapons raised." His voice was like ice.

"Your eyes." She whispered. "I've looked into shotgun barrels that are friendlier than they are."

"If you knew, you would understand." He turned away.

Marianne reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you tell me? Help me to understand!"

"Why should I!" Knives shouted as he stepped closer to the Marshall. "You'll be a disappointment, like so many others have been! Mankind is evil! You think you're helping, but you're a fool! You'll only end up destroying me!"

"Try me!" Marianne shouted back as she moved just inches from his face, not to be outdone.

Knives was furious. He places his hands on her shoulders, one of two things would happen next. He would shake her so hard that he snapped her neck. Or.

It was a kiss that she could feel in her toes. Passionate is the closest word that could describe it. She had seen the bloodlust in his eyes and for a moment thought she was a goner. But this would have been a worthy way to die. He was forceful and strong, but not violent. In fact, it was just the sort of kiss that Marianne would have begged for. He had slid his hand down to her waist and pulled her closer, crushing her hard against his chest. She would have protested, had she not just melted in his arms.

* * *

Ewww – gross! What was I thinking! Sorry everyone, that came outta nowhere! 

By the way, I was asked how much longer this story was going to go, I'm not really sure, but I'm trying to wrap it up…I've got other stories brewing in the coffee pot of my mind…

OH! Everyone should say Happy Birthday to me…it's less than a week away. Dang I'm old. lisa


	22. Breakthroughs

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two: _Breakthroughs _

What does it take to move a heart? A name mentioned in passing, by a stranger? An encouraging word, spoken by one's beloved? A touch by someone you barely know? The answer is yes, to all of these things, and many, many more. When the heart is moved, a breakthrough occurs.

* * *

When the tall man in black kicked open the door, with his arms laden with a very big, very pregnant, very unconscious woman, the whole room noticed. No more than five seconds passed before the doctor and the two nurses were helping him. There were two young patients in the room, both of whom were watching the spectacle with a great deal of interest. 

"Is that Milly?" The little girl asked the boy to her left as she hugged a yellow eyed black cat.

"Yea, but who's that man?" The little boy scratched the cat's head as it meowed.

The doctor was helping Milly into a nearby bed and barking orders to the nurses who were flying across the room in a panic. The baby was coming. The doctor ushered the priest into a waiting area and began questioning him.

"Who are you?" The doctor looked over his clipboard while scribbling notes feverishly on it.

"Oh, I'm just a servant of God roaming the earth, helping the helpless, er, I was helping her with her groceries. My name's Wolfwood." He cleared his throat and offered his hand to the doctor who did not return the greeting. But instead he shook his head.

"No, no, no. Are you any **relation**, the father of the child, perhaps?"

Wolfwood gave a nervous laugh. "Eh heh, no, I've never seen this lady before in my life."

"I see." The doctor said as he went back to his clipboard. "Well then, let's see, where was she and what was she doing when her water broke? Was she overly excited or stressed? "

The priest looked faint-hearted for a moment. "Well, I don't think so, I was just walking her home, and she was asking me questions."

"What sort of questions? Did she seem worried or fatigued?" The doctor looked up inquisitively and furrowed together his eyebrows.

"She was asking me questions, er, about me." Wolfwood hesitated. "About whom I was."

The doctor nodded "That sounds like something Milly would do, but why would that have upset her? That's interesting." He got to his feet and looked once more that the priest. "Well, you stay put, if you will, Father Wolfwood, I'll be back before too long." He said sharply, and left the room. Wolfwood wiped his brow, where surprisingly, a great deal of sweat had gathered. His mind raced. _Who is she?_ _Do I know her – this woman? Milly? She asked me why I was still alive_. He moved for a nurse who was running through the room with an IV. He frowned. _Who is she? _

_Milly? Milly!_ With no warning, intense pain shot through the priests head as he collapsed on the floor.

* * *

Meryl smiled. _I understand that you don't want to part with me. I mean, let's face it, who **would** want to part with me?_

Vash raised an eyebrow. _You're so humble._

_Well, at least I've cleared my conscience. _Meryl ran a hand through her hair.

"Oh, hey Meryl, seeing as we're confessing things, I have a predicament of my own that I'd like to share with you." Vash took Meryl hands in his. Meryl looked up into his eyes, feeling a blush cover her face.

"I'm almost afraid to ask." She blinked up at him.

"It's about Knives." He spoke softer and then switched into telepathy. _I've made a deal with him._

Meryl's eyes widened as she gasped. _What do you mean you made a deal with him! Vash! What sort of deal did you make? Oh god! Don't tell me he's going to go on a killing spree if you leave him!_

Vash sighed. She was freaking out again. He was expecting that sort of reaction. _It's nothing like that. Er, not exactly. He has to stay with me for the rest of the week, that's four more days, and at the end of the week, if he hasn't seen that humanity is peaceful and good, than he has the freedom to go and do as he pleases. Of course, he'll always have to face me whenever he's finished, but that's the deal._

Meryl threw her hands up in the air and turned away from him. For a moment neither of them moved, nor said a word. Suddenly Meryl turned around with a flash in her eyes. "All right then! We have missions! I have to get to Milly, and you have to teach Knives the truth about mankind – so – let's formulate a plan!"

* * *

Marianne opened her eyes and found herself staring into a pair of eyes unlike anything she'd ever seen before. Knives was obviously shocked at his actions as much as she was. But there was something more. He was…frightened? She blinked in amazement. He only stared back at her. 

_Why? Why did you do that?_ She ventured to communicate with him.

He only held his gaze, with no response.

_Knives?_ She reached a hand up to his face and touched him cautiously.

Knives closed his eyes for a moment. _What have I done? What the fuck have I done?_

_Knives! Answer me! _

Knives opened his eyes and looked back at Marianne. She seemed so calm, so steady. She was the opposite of him, she was so, stable. _What should I say to you? You want me to admit that I feel when I kill? You want me to admit that I am not such a higher life form? That I'm flawed? Alright, I admit it. I'm not perfect. I'm not these things; I am not unemotional or cruel, not by nature! But how can someone survive in this world, how can someone live, without becoming cold and merciless? _He tore himself away from her caress and paced violently on the sidewalk while he screamed in her mind. _I was **driven** to become what I am! I was **forced **to be what I am! **Your people made me what I am!**_

Marianne had heard enough. She reached out and flung her arms around the tormented man before her. _**Enough!** I understand what you're saying Knives. Mankind hurt you, so mankind must repair the damages. But repair does not come through death, it comes through love Knives. Through love comes healing._

He stood there listening to her words, feeling her touch and something inside of Knives was touched for the first time in over a century. The ice that covered his heart cracked and melted into a pool.

* * *

Yea, I'm seein' an end now, maybe one or two more chapters and that'll be it. I got nothin' more. I'm really thinking about doing a Cowboy Bebop fic next. lisa 


	23. Dollars to Donuts

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or any other anime - I just like making up stories…oh, and this is my second official fan fic and my first Trigun fan fic so I'll just apologize now if it sucks. Sorry!

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three: _Dollars to Donuts_

I would never have bet that anything like this would have happened. Not double dollars and not donuts, but I should have. I'd be a rich man if I did. It looks like we will have a beautiful future, all of us, it will be so beautiful.

* * *

"Doctor! He's on the floor! The man who brought Milly in!" A nurse shouted at the doctor from the room where she knelt over the body of the priest. 

The doctor, just wiping the sweat off his brow that he earned from delivering new life into the world, rushed into the room. He looked at the Wolfwood with a frown. "Well, let's get him onto the table and see what the issue is, did he just collapse?"

"I don't know, I just found him this way." The nurse helped sit the man in black up.

"Well, he seems to have hit his head; we'll have to have a look, what do you say?" The doctor began inspecting the priest.

"Of course doctor. Oh, and Milly, is she?" The nurse looked up hopefully.

"Everything is great; she's healthy as are her new babies. She had a little girl and a little boy." The doctor smiled. "She's gonna be just fine. She's pretty tough, all things considered. But she's keeps asking for people I don't know, I don't even know if they exist. I can't tell you how much I hate to see a sweet girl like her all alone at a time like this."

The priest on the table stirred momentarily. Nicholas struggled to clear his foggy mind. He had to get control, he had to wake himself. He had to see her. Her. It was like a light that pierced the darkness and his eyes flew open. He saw himself walking beside her. He saw her sleeping form in a pool of moonlight. He saw her crying over a couple of young, foolish lovers. He saw her offering him coffee. He saw her cuddling with little children. It was enough. "Milly." He grunted.

"Yes, yes, she's just doing great, you need to relax my friend, can't say what happened to you, but you wound up on the floor." The doctor smiled. "Just stay put, you can see her and her new little ones in a few minutes."

"Little ones?" The priest choked. "As in more than one?"

"You bet." The doctor grinned.

* * *

It was a surprise to both of them. Knives closed his eyes in embarrassment. _I'm sorry._

_Whatever for?_ Marianne smiled up into his face.

Knives opened his eyes and stared down at the blushing woman in his arms. Whatever for? Whatever was he sorry for? For kissing her of course! He was sorry that he kissed her! Was he? Knives blinked. No! He wasn't! He liked it! He liked it? Yes he did!

"Yes I do!" He nodded his head defiantly.

_I must have missed something_. Marianne's cool voice came clearly in his mind.

Knives smiled. _What is this feeling? I don't know if I've felt it before?_

_Can you describe it? _Marianne peered up at him.

_I feel warm and sort of light inside, like I've just eaten a sun. _Knives smile widened. _I think I understand why Vash is so… so…_

_Knives, are you telling me that you understand why your brother loves us humans_? Marianne raised an eyebrow.

"Yes! I think I am." Knives laughed.

"Who would have guessed?" Marianne grinned.

"Vash would have. He bet me…" Knives ran a hand through his soft blonde hair and looked up at the sky so blue. "He knew, and I'll be damned if he didn't win the bet."

* * *

Vash and Meryl rounded the corner, their plan had to be precise, one wrong move and they'd be in a real pickle. Knives and Marianne were sitting on her front porch, surprisingly they were sitting next to each other and they were speaking to each other softly. Vash stopped in his tracks and raised a suspicious eyebrow. _What's that all about?_ He looked at Meryl. 

_You don't suppose he's doing anything wrong do you?_ Meryl looked apprehensive.

_I don't know. We'll have to see…._

Vash walked over to his brother and the Marshall and waved a 'hello'. The couple returned his greeting. Now it was Meryl's move. She stepped up next to Vash and smiled at Marianne.

"Marianne, I was wondering if I might trouble you for some assistance in packing. I'm leaving as soon as possible."

"Leaving?" Marianne looked shocked. "Well, of course I'll help you, but I'm surprised that you're leaving so **soon**!"

"I have a partner who will need me soon." Meryl smiled.

"Then why don't you both go?" Knives spoke up. "Vash, you can't possibly be thinking of letting her go traveling alone."

Vash and Meryl looked as if they'd seen a ghost. "**What** did you just say?" Vash gaped at his brother.

"I asked if you were going with her. You really should you know." Knives got to his feet and put a hand on the Marshall's shoulder. Vash and Meryl exchanged looks.

"You mean you want me to leave here with Meryl? Just the two of us? Alone?" Vash looked confused. "Without you?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do. After all, Marianne and I are going to want some time alone too… And for that matter, I should let you know dear brother, you won our bet."

Meryl's jaw dropped. "You mean, you two are… are…"

Marianne laughed as Knives threw an arm around her shoulder carelessly. "Yes. Definately." He smiled.

Vash could hardly contain himself. "I knew it! I knew you'd see! Aren't they amazing! I love you brother! I knew you would understand one day! Knives! Aren't women the most beautiful things on this planet?"

"Sure." Knives grinned. "Sure they are. They're better than anything else I've known."

Vash grabbed up Meryl and gave her a wet kiss. "They sure are. Meryl, you're better than donuts."

* * *

**The End… (Or close to it)**

I'll probably do an epilogue here in a while, just to tie up those lose ends. Sorry Demon007 that I didn't put another villain in here, I was just losing speed so I thought I'd cut my losses. Anyways, hope you liked it. Cheers! lisa


	24. Epilogue

_Epilogue

* * *

_

_I was so sure no one would **ever** love me. What was I, a boy with no family, no friends, and no connections to good people? I was nothing, and it terrified me. In fact, I was so scared that I when I found that gun and blew my guardian to kingdom come it didn't matter. I was just glad to feel anything but fear, even if I was just trading it for guilt. But despite my efforts, it still didn't stop. That feeling, that knowledge, I was sure that no one would **ever **love me… _

_I remember the day I walked into that orphanage. I remember the looks on those children's faces. They had such innocence and beauty. I made a vow that I would do everything in my power, **anything** to keep them safe. What should I have done then, when he came to me? The deal was so sweet, so, I took him up on it, who wouldn't have? How was I supposed to know my life would forever change? I set out expecting to find security._

_The day that I met them, the girls and him, I didn't realize what I was getting myself into. But when I saw his heart, his smile, I knew, I **knew** why Knives wanted him. And then there were the girls. I knew right away that the short girl was head over heals for Vash, it was so obvious. But Milly had that gentle, sweet disposition, like an angel. Er, I'm no good at descriptions, I sound like she's a softy. Don't get me wrong, she's gentle but she's not weak. Weak? **Ha**! Gentle, yes, but also tough, you know? She was hard as nails when she needed to be. But to see her with those children, Lord God, she was a vision of mercy and hope. I admit I forgot myself and I loved her._

_Who was I kidding? It was a fairytale, it was a façade. But it was going to catch up with me, and I knew it. Of course, I would have delayed the inevitable forever if I could have, just to be there with them. I knew what I was doing was unfair, the moment she came into my room, I should have sent her away. I knew it was just a matter of time before I'd have to leave her, but I just couldn't leave her then. I had feared all my life that no one would love me, but she did! She was so kind, so beautiful, and so **happy**. I couldn't turn her away. I knew I was being selfish but I'm **glad** I didn't send her away. I took her into my arms and took her innocence, but yet she gave it to me, in ways I would never have expected. She was so alive, so **perfect**, that it made me feel alive too, for the first time in my life. I didn't allow myself to think about what the consequences of my actions were. Even though I knew I was going to experience such horrors… _

_I can remember stumbling into the church, and shedding my worthless blood on that holy ground. I can remember propping my cross beside me and closing my eyes for what I believed to be the last time. I knew I was dead. But when I opened my eyes, I didn't see heaven; I saw a ceiling before me. It was as if my history my memory had been erased. I knew who I was, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, one of your dime-a-dozen Priests. But where I was, and how I got there, were mysteries to me. I had no recollection of the recent past, the humanoid typhoon and the insurance girls were scattered memories that seemed merely like dreams. So I moved and I lived as I always had before, a lost priest trying to find lost lambs, but it truly was the blind leading the blind. The nightmare life I had known before had returned. **Again**, no one loved me. Until that day..._

_It was like walking in a dream, walking beside her. I had to ask if she were married, I had to know if she could ever in my wildest dreams belong to me. Little did I know she already did! When she dropped, so did my heart. Racing her to the doctor's office, I panicked about what would happen if she died. When they said her name my memories literally hit me like a ton of bricks. She was my love! She was my big girl! She was **my** Milly, and those were **my **children! **I was loved!** I knew my life would be changed forever, I couldn't wait…

* * *

_

_I don't know what would have been different if I had known all this before. If I had known what love was like, what life was like, what it meant to be **understood**. I had never known peace, you see, or maybe it just didn't know me. He never struggled like I did. We were born into a world that I wanted to be a specific way, and it simply wasn't. I don't know if it met his desires either. But we were more alike then he knew. I had hoped for love and peace, but instead I found malice and hatred. What was I supposed to do? No one understood me; no one could **ever** understand me._

_Balance had always been something that fascinated me. But those first few years there was hardly a balance. There was Rem, the sweet and rose-colored-glass visionary, who lived in a world that was thoroughly illogical. And there were people like Steve, the filthy, loathsome delinquent, whose world was a picture of evil. I saw them, the butterflies and the spiders and I realized that neither were good. After all, what could the butterflies to do save themselves from the spiders? And what could the spiders do to save themselves? The answers were one and the same. Nothing! But to make it all worse, there was a thorn in my side. Vash, my own brother, my own flesh and blood! And he didn't understand me, no, he didn't** try** to. So I made up my mind, there would **never** be an understanding between Vash and Knives._

_I didn't feel bad about the murders. The deaths I was credited with, in my mind, were completely justified. They were evil, all of the dead got what was coming to them. In my mind's eye I saw their true selves, the weak and miserable persons behind their masks. They were foolish humans, foolish finite humans. But Vash didn't understand. He stood there with his heart on his sleeve, willing to give whatever it took to save** them**. He wanted to be the one to save them, when no one else could. He wanted to be their savior. I **hated **him for it. I hated him because he honestly thought he could save them all, and I hated him because he probably could if I'd have stayed out of his way. With enough time, my brother, who shared my determination, would have saved them all, I believe. So, I did what it took to bring him down. I played every card I could; I cut him to the core. I, his own brother, I, Knives, watched him **suffer**. I watched him bleed and I watched him cry. And I kept my heart from feeling anything. Or so I thought._

_When he beat me, I felt that side of me die. When he stood there and pointed his angel arm at me I saw in his eyes the pain that I inflicted upon him and I knew my sins must be paid for. I knew he perhaps did want peace with me. I also knew I **needed** him to save me. I remember waking up and knowing he had invaded my mind. But his eyes shown with a new sympathy, a look I had never seen before. When he told me he loved me, that he was glad I was his brother, I was lost. He **understood** me, for the first time in my life, he understood me, and I was **finally** at peace with him._

_So there I was, grasping at anything to reform myself, but yet **terrified** of losing myself entirely. I desperately wanted peace with him. So, I listened to Vash, I watched him make his sacrifices and saw the fruits of his labor. It was an eye opening experience, seeing how much he was willing to give, seeing how much the people needed him. I couldn't quite understand it. But then, I met her._

_Had I been born human, I would have, I think, been a great deal like **her**. Much to my surprise she was quite unique as a human, she was quick witted, logical and cool. I hadn't met a human like her; so I admit I was fascinated. It might have been her fearless courage, or her admitted good looks. Or perhaps there were elements of everything I had wanted in man-kind, in her, perhaps. She was the personification of the good that he was trying to show to me. How was I to know I would fall? But fall I **did**. _

_Our marriage was, I'm sure, an odd one. I wasn't one for silly human tradition, but, she butted-heads with me and I gave in. Of course, I'll be the first to admit that watching her come down that aisle, all in white, **moved **my heart. She was a vision of loveliness, and as she took my hand and winked at me, I laughed. It was like coming home, only to a home I had never known. She was like Vash,** she understood me**...

* * *

__Love and peace, that's what she taught me, love and** peace**. But basically, all I really wanted was love. And I loved her more than anything a little boy could ever love. She was like a mother, but yet, so much more. So, I **promised** to live my life in a way that would please her, in a way that would make Rem happy. I saw the struggles of man at an early age and I felt compassion for them, but he didn't. Oh no, Knives was **not** a compassionate person. Of course, I tried to rise above them turmoil, but Knives didn't avoid it at all. He thrived in the chaos. From the day that she died, from the day that he **killed** her, pain took the front seat in my life. No matter where I went, always, hot-on-my-heals were death and sorrow. They chased me down just like a mangy dog, but I was wise to their tricks, because I knew their creator. I knew they came from Knives._

_The years passed in somewhat of a blur. I saw a great many things and tasted and felt and I loved it all. But every time I got comfortable, every time I got safe, he came for me and ruined it all. Of course, I was going to please her at all costs. No matter what it took, I wouldn't kill, and I wouldn't fight back. So I did the only thing I could, I ran._

_But I ran into **her**. She wasn't looking for me though, or at least she didn't think she was. In fact, it took her a long time to realize what I was, who I was, but she did it at last. And I have found that instead of something happening at once, it's sometimes better that it happens at last. She went through a great deal for me, and with me. She watched me and I didn't hold back, I showed her every side of me, except for that side. I couldn't let her see the pain, the agony. Until the day that the mangy dog found me, yet again. I saw his name written in blood and I shot it, dotting the 'i'. And then I saw her. She stood there, short and bitchy and adorable and looked up at me with confusion and fear in her eyes. So I decided to tell her **everything**. I had known that she cared for me, perhaps even loved me, but I knew it would all change when she knew the **truth**. Of course, everyone I had ever loved ran when they saw what a monster I was, what I was capable of. But I knew I had to be honest with her, at least. When I was done telling her my story, the confusion and fright had melted away to reveal sweet compassion and gentle sorrow, and something infinitely more wonderful. Love! She** loved** me, despite it all. It didn't matter to her. _

_I knew then that I couldn't run from him anymore. He had to be met head on; he had to be dealt with. But not for Rem, no, not anymore, she would always be an inspiration, but it was too late to save her now. Now it had to be done for **her**, for my Meryl. _

_I knew I would defeat him. I knew I would win, and I knew I wouldn't kill him. I didn't expect what I found in his mind though, the pain and the betrayal. It broke my heart. I made a new vow that day, a vow to prove my brotherly love to my **brother**. The only problem was that although I wanted to love my brother and to take my time with him, I also wanted desperately to go back to her. I knew she would be worried and I wanted to give her peace, to show her I was still alive. But if you had seen what Knives was capable of, you wouldn't have trusted him within 100 iles of someone you loved. And yes, I **did** love her. _

_Of course, it turned out alright in the end. He found his peace and I found my love and all was made well. I remember so vividly what it was like seeing her lying beneath me for the first time. She was all eyes, and for that matter, so was I. She looked so different next to me in the moonlight. She was soft and pink and **perfect** and I was torn apart and scarred and **hideous**. But once again, she **loved **me, and she didn't see my ugliness, she only saw the man she married. _

_My search for love and peace was finally complete. My **love** had been found from someone that I would never have expected to love me, and my **peace** through the last person I would have thought to be peaceful. But in this life, there are so many surprises. I can't begin to explain them all, but it's **beautiful**. From the sweet lullabye of a mother, to the cry of her child in the night, it's all beautiful. And what an adventure it is! I can only pray that my daughter will know the beauty of it all. After all, Rem has so much **love** to experience, and her mother and I are excellent teachers...

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_

_I don't know everyone; I tried something a little different this time and made it all from an individual's point of view. I don't know if I like it… I may make a part two from the women's point of view…it depends on how many reviews I get. wink wink - lisa_


	25. Epilogue Final

_Epilogue_

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_My big-big brother always used to tell me that families aren't just what you're **born** into; they're sometimes made up along the road of life by people who would be strangers but aren't because you make them into your family. When he first said that, I don't think I really understood him, but boy do I understand him now! Of course, you don't ever forget your first family; you just end up **adding** to them! And I've added some **really** great people to my family…_

_You know, when I first met Meryl she was standing there in the front office of the agency, all red in the face with her hands on her hips, griping at her old partner. I can remember thinking, **gosh**, I hope I don't make her mad at **me**! But I did, oh man, did I make her mad at me, all the time actually! When they re-assigned her and me together to go after **The Humanoid Typhoon **I was so excited, well, except for the part about working with her, she really didn't seem like much fun. Although, it **did **sound like we were in for quite the adventure, but Meryl was so serious and **grumpy** all the time, I admit I wasn't so sure we'd get along. But I decided to do everything I could to make her loosen up and have fun._

_Of course, by the time Mr. Vash had joined our party things got **really** interesting! He kept getting into all kinds of trouble and then Meryl would get all angry, it was really funny watching them. Anyone could see she was falling in love with him, my mother always says you can tell when someone is in love because they get all **distracted** and **embarrassed** when the person they love is around. I thought I could have been happy watching the two of them act goofy for the rest of my life, but I was wrong. The truth is, only **one** thing could have made me happier and it wasn't too long before he was standing right in front of me. He was just what I needed._

_My sweet Mr. Priest, my Nicholas wasn't quite as goofy as Mr. Vash, but he wasn't serious like Meryl either. He was just right. Like that story about the three bears and their porridge, whatever that is, I guess it must be something like** pudding**. I won't lie to you, when we were saving that sweet little dancing girl and I got to act like his wife, it was one of the happiest memories of my **life**. Waddling there beside him, arm in arm, while I disguised myself as a pregnant lady was fun. But I found myself wondering if someday I would** really** waddle beside him with his babies inside me. I found myself wondering what sort of father he'd be, and what our kids would look like. Before I knew it, I realized I had a pretty big grin on my face. I guess I liked the idea._

_Who knew it would actually happen? There were a lot of things about him that surprised me, that he would kill that little boy, even if he was a villain, it just didn't seem right. That day was one of the worst ever, I hardly knew what to say. He sat there and explained himself to me; I couldn't argue with his logic, but Mr. Vash was right too! I was **confused**, but one thing was obvious, he **needed **me. He was so sad that day, how could I have left him all alone? I didn't think twice about going to him, and I didn't think twice about staying with him. Something about it felt right, but if I had known what was coming, I would never have let him leave the next morning, even if I had to lock the door and threaten him within an inch of his life!_

_Living those next few months wasn't fun. I wrote to my family to tell them I had fallen in love with a priest. **Then** that I was going to have a baby, and **then **later, that it would be two of them. Everyone was excited, but I didn't want them to come to help me with the babies, I had to trust my **new** family at that point and I just **knew** Meryl would come back. The best part is that she didn't just come back; she also came back with Mr. Vash! Of course, they **were** a week late, but she had the best news! She said that, well, I guess I'll let **her** tell you all about it. The only thing that really matters is that my new family is just as important to me as my old one was, er, not that my family is old but, you know what I meant._

_Well, it wasn't long after that Mr. Nicholas and I were married. Isn't it **funny** how much my family has grown? Now when I write letters I also have to write them to Mr. Vash and Meryl and Mr. Knives and Marianne. And when I'm done, I sign them from Nick, Milly, Jeff and Lia._

_Oh, and did I mention that I think I'm pregnant **again, **the doctor says it looks like **another **set of twins!_

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_The day my mother died, was tragic in more than one way. She was everything to our family, she was the one that kept the peace, and she was beautiful and sweet and **perfect**. Unfortunately for me, I grew up to look just like her, but not to really be **anything** like her. In fact, though I may have been her twin physically, I was her opposite inevery otherway; she was delicate and soft but I was tough and strong. The real problem, though, was my **father**. She was his **world** and when she died, he did too, but not physically. He went to work, or sat at home and never spoke a word to me,soI learned to shut him out. Soon I was so involved with my dreams of being a Marshall that it didn't matter much. By the time I was 18, I was accepted into the academy and I had to have my father's permission. Of course, this was a road block. Since dad never really acknowledged me as I was growing up (in fact I don't think he ever really saw **me **at all) I didn't know how he'd respond. Who am I kidding? He never **did **see me, until I really started to look like **her**, that is. I remember the day that I walked into my father's bedroom to ask him about it and he stared at me like I was a ghost and said** her** name. I couldn't **understand** him. I had to correct him and tell him who** I** was. You know, the next day, when I got up and found him dangling from the ceiling, it wasn't a surprise to me at all. It didn't mean **anything**. _

_But that's when I went to live with my **grandfather**. Naturally, instead of being completely unaware of me, he was the opposite. He **smothered** me. To him, I was a copy of my mother as well, but I was also a second chance to him. Where he failed **her**, he would not fail me. When he found out I was going into law enforcement, he panicked. Of course, as the director of the Stantal Federal Bureau, he knew more than enough about the business. But yet my **mother **had died, so he was determined to keep **me** alive. I couldn't **understand **him. He stopped me from doing anything worthwhile, set me behind a desk and gave me paperwork. My life went from ignored to controlled and I **hated** it. But I was too wise to be **caged** like that, so I fooled him. Every night I snuck out of my room and practiced my shooting and worked my body until I was as limber as a cat and then I waited for my chance. All I needed was one chance to prove myself… _

_When I heard about that scum Cliff Schezar, I knew my time was at hand. What I** didn't** count on was Vash the Stampede. He **wasn't** what I expected. I distinctly remember watching him dodge those bullets and I wondered what sort of power he had that allowed him to do that. He **impressed **me. Unfortunately he was an** idiot**, and that ruined it all. He could have gazed at me with those sparkling eyes, but the minute he opened his mouth I wanted to **kill **him. He was like my **grandfather**, he didn't really want me, and he didn't really see me. It was a slap in the face; it was my history laughing at me. That was it. No one had ever wanted **me**, they ignored me or they smothered me and no matter how much freedom I had, it would always be the same. _

_Who knew that years later I would run into that man again, but this time destiny wouldn't be thumbing its nose at me. So he had a twin brother who wasn't an idiot, but he was a **challenge**. No, Knives was a murderer, but yet, he wasn't the insane man that I had pictured, but a tortured and confused soul. I've known criminals, they've been my life, and he didn't react to me like a criminal. In face, he didn't react like any man I'd ever known. He didn't **ignore** me or **smother** me, but he looked me straight in the eye and I saw what he was capable of. At first, he frightened me with the way he flippantly spoke of those he had killed, but when I heard his voice in my head I **knew** that this man was unlike any other man on the face of the earth. Sure he was confused, but I **respected** him, and I had never respected **any** man. He was certainly a match for me; he was strong and confident, just as I was. There was a small problem though, he was so full of hated and pain he couldn't see that anyone could understand him and he hid behind the excuse of being a** higher** life form. Of course, I knew** that** right away, I guess the saying 'it takes one to know one' is pretty accurate. I had to help him, and in so doing, he would help me. _

_The day we were married he looked like he was going to **explode** as I walked down the aisle. We had fought about the ceremony earlier. He thought it was **pointless**, but the expression on his face when he saw me walking towards him, proved that maybe there **was **something to tradition. I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. It's nice to know that my future will be spent with a man that I can understand and respect..._

* * *

_I've **never** been without a plan. Even when I was a little girl I had strategies on everything under the sun. I was also born with a bit of a **commanding** presence; I was never afraid to impose my thoughts on anyone. Naturally becoming an insurance agent would be a good job for a strategic person like me,** everyone** thought so. I was organized and logical, and I learned quickly that certain emotions weren't logical. I guess I got a little carried away with the position… _

_I burned through my first few partners quickly, insulting them and letting them leave the company in tears, my excuse was, they were weak. When they assigned me to Milly Thompson I was hard pressed to figure her out and move on. But I found out she surprisingly tough, and handy to have around. So, I was actually **pleased** to know that she and I would be working on the Vash the Stampede case together, I figured she at least wouldn't get in my way. If there was one thing I couldn't stand it was a womanizing **trouble-maker** like this Vash the Stampede. I heard tons of rumors and I admit when I did meet Vash, none of them lined up. He was…so…**indescribable**. One minute he would be snarfing down donuts while the next minute he would be dodging bullets! Of course I can't forget the bizarre looks he could get in his eyes, they would glow with a violence I had never seen before, or they would tear up and he would sob like a __6__ year-old girl. But I wasn't going to get **emotional**, I was going to keep it together, no matter what. Falling in love was just **illogical**._

_At first I just couldn't **stand** him. He was always chasing skirts and following around beautiful women like a lost puppy, **literally**. But then he would do something amazing, like stand up for justice and save the lives of helpless people, like a** hero**! On the other hand, after performing these heroic acts he'd be back in the saloon drinking into oblivion. It** used** to make me so mad. Now, I say that it **used** to make me mad because it doesn't bother me now. I guess I realized that he's just goofy like that because he's so **determined** to not let the sorrow of this world get to him. I know how perverted this might sound, but I've seen his body without his clothes covering it and he's tragically beautiful. He's covered in these scars, but it's like he's a two-legged memorial of a life lived in the pursuit of love and peace. But he still laughs and is silly despite it all. Someone once said if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I guess somewhere along the road, I began to realize that he's not** irritating**, he's, well, he's **endearing**._

_When he told me about Knives my heart **broke**. I knew that for the** first** time he had let me in. For the **first** time he hadn't just laughed and excused himself, he leveled with me; he spoke plainly with **me**. It meant that he respected me, that he **trusted **me. But I also knew that he would have to **leave** me. He couldn't very well take me along to this fight and I had to respect his will to do this alone. But can I tell you how much I **struggled **with myself in letting him go? It seemed like I had always followed him and I just wasn't ready to let him go. So, I waited as long as I could, and then I went after him. I guess I had finally come to grips with the fact that I was a **very** tender and emotional woman, despite how illogical I knew it was to be so. _

_Of course, **nothing** could have prepared me for what I would find. He was being heroic again and in all fairness, I thought messing around with Knives was a **lost cause**. But I digress; the point is he proved me wrong. He did everything right and before I knew it, I was standing at Knives' wedding! And then I was standing at very motherly Milly and very alive Nicholas' wedding! But my joy was complete the evening that Milly got married, he stood beside me as we watched them toast each other and he offered **me** a toast as well. 'May we always have love, peace, and **each other' **?As cliché as it sounds, I found something **sparkly** at the bottom of my champagne flute. _

_It wasn't long before I had a daughter of my own. We decided to name her Rem, after the woman that inspired Vash to be the peace-loving father that he is. I know that with our example she'll grow up to be just as **peaceful** as her father, as **loving** as her mother and as **inspiring **as her predecessor...

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IT IS FINISHED! _

lisa


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